Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

My Cure to Cancer

Doctor, I've got a problem.
It's a cancer, growing rapidly.
And the pain?
It leaves me eroding away.

Perhaps you can operate on me?
Remove this cancer
and free me of its caging tumors
caging and trapping pain.

This pain isn't pain anymore.
It's grown to agony
My agony grows today.
But where it's from nobody knows.

I thought it's roots lay in my soul,
So I was emptied of that.
Though it from my heart,
Away with that too.
It just kept breaking anyway.

My stomach turned and knotted,
removed that too.
Perhaps it's all in my head?
So I drained it of all lies.

But the cancer,
it remains just as strong,
Maybe stronger,
and still spreading.

So, doctor, can you fix me?
Nuke the source?
Or at least find it?
Cut me open and find it?

I've cut myself many a time.
But these hands are shaky,
and these eyes always drowned from sight.
But never leaking.
So I never get deep enough for the cancers' source.

I have a question,
Am I fixable?
Is this cancer operable?
Or will I die and become a statistic?

I've emptied myself of it all.
I am a walking cadaver,
no heart, nor soul, not even a stomach.
And still it grows.

And now I know the answer.
I know the cure.
I am hallowed of all but one thing.
And I'll remove it tonight.
Tonight I'll rid myself of life.

A contest entry

Mmmm comments?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • BrokenHeartsInVain
    July 11

    Edit | Reply
    Ahh, that's awesome.I love how you used cancer as a comparison to depression, (if that's what you meant,) And I feel that this piece conveys very deep emotion. One of my favorite parts, is,

    And I'll remove it tonight.
    Tonight I'll rid myself of life.

    I love that. LOVE ITS I tell you.
    Anyway. Enough of that.
    Thank you for entering, and best of luck in the contest. ♥


  • rin-macabre
    April 20

    Edit | Reply
    OOOHHHH cancer... i like this. i also like the use of rhetorical question near the end.. i like how you compared yourself with a cadavar... though, i DO NOT how you used suicide or death as your ending idea. you should have made it worse. Suicide is pathetic. and i don't like that part. the the ocmponents are very nice in there ,the gore relayed intensely, you put yourself down a standard.


  • Lucidity.
    April 8

    Edit | Reply
    It's a good poem. There are a few grammatical errors, but the stanzas flow well from one into the other. Good job.


  • SimplyNoodle
    April 7

    Edit | Reply
    I liek the way your wrote this, Well done. I can feel the pain and dept within this. Keep writting.
    ~ Chelsey

  • A-muse-in-writer
    April 7

    Edit | Reply

    Very good

    love is so often destructive when not returned, or left unannounced, the feeling leaves you empty and lifeless and it is one of the hardest journeys to rebuild oneself


  • cyanastropyre
    April 6

    Edit | Reply
    I like this. It's about longing for things to be right and whole, not just physically but on every level of being, is it not? Very good .


  • xXCaffeineAddictXx
    April 6

    Edit | Reply

    I feel this!

    I know how it feels to be eaten alive from the inside by something you cant identify perfectly and how life seems like the problem. I know that when you are in a certain amount of pain life itself is a bane and existing doesn't seem worth it. Congrats on a fabulous poem (though i should note: don't do anything overly rash)
    Kudos!

    • Bleeding On Paper
      April 6
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, and no I won't be doing anything overly rash. Writing about it is what stops me from doing these things


  • chael
    April 5

    Edit | Reply

    Great work

    I don't know about cancer, Don't have it thank God (or whomever controls that kind of thing) But I do have Parkinson's so I can relate to the misery.Even if it's not exactly the same. This is very effective and poignant.....chael


  • ToXiC-AnGeL gold member
    April 5

    Edit | Reply

    Awesome !

    I loved it ..soooo great, I love reading your work.

    This pain isn't pain anymore.
    It's grown to agony
    My agony grows today.
    But where it's from nobody knows.

    So brilliant !
    I felt the agony

    So, doctor, can you fix me?
    Nuke the source?
    Or at least find it?
    Cut me open and find it?

    If he can , can I have his number?
    I loved this piece jumped right off the page at me

    This whole piece is just awesome
    Great Work

    man I love your stuff


  • August Starlight silver member
    March 30
    Edit | Reply
    Oooh I like it alreadyyy.


  • Georg Hellsong
    March 30
    Edit | Reply
    If he can, I need fixing too.

1 - 16 of 16