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Have Your Heartbeat Call Me When You're Home

I thought you were just an empty shell
Before I held you close
And heard the ocean.

A contest entry

I'll probably add more.

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Lolitax3
    April 6
    Edit | Reply
    Ingenious.

  • LeavesofAutumn
    April 4
    Edit | Reply

    This is beautiul

    But i know you want to add more........
    :-)


  • Meroza
    March 31

    Edit | Reply
    This is almost cute. A little tip though, the title of the poem is almost longer then the poem itself, try cutting it back to, lets say, one word?

    Good luck


    • RealitysAStory
      March 31

      Edit | Reply

      Thank You

      I was absentmindedly shooting for it to be longer than the poem, but now that you've said it, I think that's a good idea. I had it like that in the first place and then changed it. Thank you for the comment, it's very generous of you. :-)

      s.sora


  • AliceinPoetryLand gold member
    March 30

    Edit | Reply
    Oh this is really beautiful. I know it's short but the reader can find so much within your words.
    best wishes with this.
    Gaylene

1 - 5 of 5