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crossed

 

 

 

 

i
She’d left me sitting
crossed legged,
eyed,
brained,
without a single thought,
other than her auburn hair.

 

 

 

 

 

ii

Someone told me
a rainbow could be made
from human emotion,
red for passion,
yellow for curiosity
and orange for happiness.

But, I’ve always hated orange;
I’m colour-blind.

 

 

 

 

 

iii

I’d been making
works of art
from burning clouds
when I heard it-


the first bird of a
bitter winter morning.

 

 

 

 

Author notes

"happiness is always yellow and orange?" was the prompt that inspired this. I think orange is a bit like marmite, you like it or you don't. I also think happiness is similar, in the sense you're either happy or you're not. So hmm that's where this came from....

In a list

A contest entry

.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • white stone
    July 9

    Edit | Reply
    I actually had a hard time grasping the end, but it's just unhappiness right? Like the sky burning beautifully, your everything? Regardless, I like the color of all the imagery. Very vivid. You do visual arts too, yes? I'm just assuming because of your layouts.


    • silverscent gold member
      July 11
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the comment. What do you mean by visual arts?

      • white stone
        July 11
        Edit | Reply
        As in painting or sculpting , drawing, designing, something of that type.


        • silverscent gold member
          July 11
          Edit | Reply
          Oh right, ,I wish I could but I'm useless at transfering an image from my mind in any other form but poetry/literature. My mother paints though. Maybe I get that sense from her.

  • J Macabre gold member
    April 2

    Edit | Reply
    That's the person opinion of what orange represents.
    To me happiness is whatever the hell color you want it to be or what YOU feel represents happiness.
    I loved how you separated this into separate thoughts...that was quite inspiring.

  • Sleepless sapphire
    March 31

    Edit | Reply
    This is amazing. I love your work!! Keep it up.

  • ImNotTheAnswer
    March 29

    Edit | Reply
    this was beautiful. I really loved "I’d been making
    works of art
    from burning clouds"

    that was just great
    good luck!

    .xo


  • Mr Id
    March 29

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is freaking incredible. I like it a lot!

    At first it looked like an Emo form, but no. It's not at all, so that's coowel!

    You have fitted a lot of very exciting ideas into small spaces here (though not squashed them in). The flow of the ideas in this is great. For example,

    red for passion,
    yellow for curiosity
    and orange for happiness.

    I like the way these colours are staggered, as in a spectrum.

    There are bleak ideas here, but they are offset very well with hope and colour.

    Very enjoyable write. Eaxactly what I was looking for. I am going to place this in finalists.

    Id X

1 - 8 of 8