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Why did you embarrass me?


Bring your friends home father would say
we like to know who you hang out with.
Teenage years were painfull enough each day.
Male friends  ran me home came in for coffee
Father would ask what are your prospects and pay?
acting like were going to get married,
Dad, I would plead he's only a friend I made today.
I was hoping things would last some time
It wasn't to be  so with this father of mine.
I still suffer severe bum cring when it comes to mind,
I didn't do it to my children I tried to be kind.




A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

  • sleepinglion
    June 1, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    A good tale made me smile, don't know about you, but I'm not having anymore parents
    Regards david


  • film
    April 11, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    In the third line, "painfull" should only have one L at the end.

    I think that if you added some quotations around the dialogue, it could really give some structure to this piece. I really do like the length of it though, just long enough for a poem and short enough to stay interesting. Thanks for entering!


  • Kevin Moderators member
    March 29, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    perhaps add some stanza breaks? at line 3 for example.

    I'd consider making this all present-tense.. just write as if it were then? aah but then the final ideas about not doing it to your children. though philosophically, i wonder if everyone's parents do different things that their children will still find annoying, we're just wired for it?

    lovely subject and well written, thanks!