Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

The Steep Climb of a Metaphysical Mountain

I close my eyes and float like lead

Today is another hard day

Tall mountain exists in my head

It's a tough, tough climb to the sky

Why can you not climb in my stead?

I'm nowhere near the half way point

My energy almost all bled

No helping hand, words of comfort

Everyone else will be abed

Wanting to give in, surrender

Too much climbing and I'll be dead

My feet won't move, glued to the dream

This isn't quite how I had read

Losing grip on now, then and there

It's a dangerous road to tread

Still I fight to get to the top

Climbing a hill mortals do dread

Phantom floats beside me, mocking

His face says things best left unsaid

Skeletal corpses tell old tales

Somehow, my soul is still not fled

It's crawling more than climbing now

Demons, by my will, are well fed

They circle my dying body

Oddly they aren't black, they are red

Red with anger, red with mirth

Their smirking glares I need to shed

It's Metaphysical Mountain

Wanting to, with my mind, embed

Won't, can't, shan't let it in to me

Or else it will begin to spread


Oh won't a prince save me from it?

The one boy I'm destined to wed

It's a steep climb, Mountains so tall

Metaphysical Mountain bred

Author notes

The last line shouldn't make sense, don't worry if you don't get it.

Did you follow it?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

  • Absolutely adored this; I'm glad I'm not the only one who didn't get the last line

    Punctuation. Also, the double-spaced lines detracts from your awesomeness, just a little.

    Keep it up, my dear!

    Maria

  • Sweet

    I love your writing. Fucking awesome, man.

  • Blown away completely.
    I really adore the flow of this piece, your rhyme and rhythm are getting consistently better and I'm seeing huge improvements in that department.
    You've put together some really nice lines and phrases in this and you managed to give me fabulous imagery which is definitely to your credit.
    I like the rhythm coz I guess in my head, the way it's written makes it sound like this is being said in time to footsteps which I guess is quite ironic.
    And the rhymes scheme is something different...it works really well for this poem but I think others may not have.
    Keep it up Dean, you're really getting the hang of this whole poetry thing.