Way back when, when everything was made,
When everything was given its shape, and size and shade.
When the Creator was cleaning up his mess,
Of Colors and Pieces, and you know all the rest.
He found a little horse that somehow he had missed,
The barren paint pots, and forsaken brushes, she was hidden in their midst
He picked the little horse up, plain as could be;
No color or pigment, not like you or me.
So the Great Creator looked around him for a color that would suit
And make that little horse grow up to be a beaut.
But after making all the others he could not find a single source
Of paint big enough to color that little horse.
So he picked up a paintbrush and got down to work,
And when he was finished he looked at the her with a smirk.
"You may be differant, with your colors all in patches,
But never on my Earth, will you find a body that matches.
I put my best work in you, my little painted Pinto mare,
And you are the finest, beyond all compare."
Author notes
A Horse of Another Color contest entry. 6th photo
http://www.whispereddreamsranch.com/Pinto_Horse.jpg
A contest entry
- A Horse of Another Color by apoeticinjustice.
850 points, ended March 29, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Guaranteed Comments! III by Nam.
1750 points, ended April 14, 159 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
whatcha think? any constructive critiscm, wheter about the poem or my style is appreciated as well! thanks!
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I think this would be better read if it was left-aligned rather than centered.
"Of Colors and Peices, and you know all the rest." -- "Peices" would be "Pieces".
Other than those things: a good poem that you have written here.
-Nam
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I love your story of how the pinto came to be...great use of rhyme as well. A very enjoyable read. Well done.
Rory
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Thank you very much
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I loved it , you made me smile and laugh out loud beautiful!! uh only thing is God smirking? that gave me pause =)
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Thank you. I don't now where the smirk came from it just seemed to fit and was the first thing that came to mind
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