I watched a show on the History Channel,
About our American Fleet,
And how in 1812 or so,
It fought on our Great Lakes.
One ship in particular,
Made history that year,
Ol' Ironsides whos spongey sides,
Not even cannonballs could pierce.
I switched it off.
The next day our mare foaled,
And the foal was gray as steel,
With a mane of coal,
And firey eyes,
What better name,
But Ol' Ironsides?
Years went by,
With that faithful steed,
And we survived the wind and rain,
Of a hundred angry storms.
Ol' Ironsides was impenatrable,
Just like his namesake,
Nothing could seperate that horse and I,
Not a single thing.
One summer we were walking,
When he knocked me out of the way,
He took for me a bite,
Of Rattlesnake's proportions.
The hide that no cannonball could pierce,
Was punctured by those fangs,
And less than two days passed on,
Before we lay him in the ground.
That television show lied.
Ol' Ironsides can die.
Author notes
s n o l a n
A contest entry
- A Horse of Another Color by apoeticinjustice.
850 points, ended March 29, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - In search of new favourites by catstar.
600 points, ended October 13, 114 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want too read ANYTHING & EVERYTHING! ENTER! ENTER!ENTER! by Sheilasbabygal4life.
545 points, ended October 31, 239 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I appreciate all criticisms. Please keep them constructive though.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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This was a very nicely done piece of work you got here. Had a good flow too it as well. Keep up the good work. thanks for entering and best of luck too you in the contest.
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good use of imagination and imagery
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Congrats on the hm, I like your story line, ironsides is a great name for a grey horse. It reads like a true story, if so, I'm sorry about the snake bite.
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Its not a true story. Unfortnuately! :( I've never had a horse, or anything bigger than a dog. I'm a military brat and have never actually settled down at a ranch. But thank you for your comment, it was what I was going for, a poem that sounded more like.
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I like the storyline you've woven here and the easy flowing language you've used. I especially liked the ending and the association with the ship. A very enjoyable read. Well done.
Rory
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aw this is beautiful but ** good luck in the contest
maralisa
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Why the unhappy face? :(
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