Some say it’s demons, others say it’s just madness
If you look real close, you’ll see torment and sadness
Living on these streets just waiting out my time
I am a pyorrhea, I am a waste to all of mankind
The shakes start to come, I feel my veins of glass
I just pray that I fall down in a field of grass
Lying there tortured as time stands still
I hear voices of contempt and I want to kill
Pain just keeps rolling through the essence of my being
Wave after wave of this life’s most horrific scenes
I try to push them out, just not think of the past
But they just rip and tear like veins of glass
I pull myself up once more, for the millionth time
And again I feel the loss of another piece of my mind
How many more times, till death makes it the last
I can’t take the inhumane pain, of these veins of glass
I wish it were alcohol or drugs of some kind
But it’s far worse; it’s an invasion into my mind
If I weren’t such a coward, I’d end it right here
But something controls my fate and it’s very near
I guess I’ll just keep enduring this hell in my mind
Is there a reason to this madness, a purpose of some kind?
When this suffering has ended and it’s all gone to pass
I hope that there’s an answer for my veins of glass
Author notes
FAH FaithandHope
"Nobody can tell you how you feel, what you think, or what to say. Not even your own mind."
A contest entry
- this is what you wanted. by Rock-Junkie.
800 points, ended November 21, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 30 of 30
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Someday there will be an answer to the glass in your veins! There is always hope...The mind plays dangerous games with the body, sometimes they are separted from on another, a distance that is hard to fathom. Pain from emotions that pours from our minds and our pens as poets, are heartfelt.
Great penning!
~Sie
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Well written, at first I wasn't keen on the repetition with 'veins of glass', but by the end of the piece you convinced me otherwise.
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I love the title, just made me want to read the rest. Very interesting take on this theme. Unfortunately some parts of it are a little cliche and the rhyme is a little stretched but some parts are just absolutely beautiful. Good job.
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Wow extremely good write
I really like it this will definitely be one to be in the top choices.
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I think that it takes a coward to "end it" and a brave soul to endure...good write!
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This is really beautiful, well done on your previous trophys, and I wish you the best of luck in this contest. It made me well up innside with all the emotion you poured out. x
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OoOoOhhh.... I love this one.... Good Luck!
P.S. Lines 9 and 10 seem a bit awkward to me.... I loved it though. -
This poem had very nice rhyme in it! I always wished i was able to ryhme just like this! I like the concept of how you don't even control your own thoughts, just like you feel when you are drinking or doing drugs. Thank you for entering my contest
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wow this is just crazy, awesome and amazing, but crazy. thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck!
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wow i love the imagery this vreats, the write itself is exquisite, i enjoyed every single line and i felt the emotion, this is a very powerful piece of write scary and yet the is that line of hope that makes it all right in the end, i love the rhyme scheme, its as if its not there..marvellously done... thanks for sharing this piece.
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I love this.
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Ahhh, you noticed.
Sometimes..."the mind is a terrible thing OF waste".
As you fight, NOT to do something you know, just isn't right.
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I could read it again if I wanted to and would not lose its boldness. I loved it and the rhyming is a plus! well done on this amazing poem, good luck
Best of luck in the contest,
xYx -
Nice to see a shorter write from you! I loved your quote in your authors notes, though not as much as the poem itself.
Thank you for entering.
Sophie
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I liked this a lot. I loved the imagery and the rhythm that you had in every stanza. The veins of glass. That alone I can imagine the pain. You did an excellent job and this poem definitely will be in my head all day.
Great job and thank you for entering. I definitely enjoyed reading.
Good Luck! -
Veins of glass > brilliant.
Very insane and creative. Thanks for entering and good luck.
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Actually I found that the lines with no rhyming flowed much better than those with rhyming...
''Pain just keeps rolling through the essence of my being
Wave after wave of this life’s most horrific scenes
I try to push them out, just not think of the past
But they just rip and tear like veins of glass
I pull myself up once more, for the millionth time
And again I feel the loss of another piece of my mind
How many more times, till death makes it the last
I can’t take the inhumane pain, of these veins of glass''
still it was a very enjoyable read with some great lines and images...
take care
Suza
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This is really excellent. The only lines I found to seem a little bit forced were:
"The shakes start to come, I feel my veins of glass
I just pray that I fall down in a field of grass"
Other than that, I really enjoyed this poem. Thank you for sharing :] -
when I sad the two line preview, and saw it was rhyme scheme, I went.... uuuugh.... but when I read it, I was very, very, very pleasantly surprised. You did a marvelous job. "I am a pyorrhea, I am a waste to all of mankind" probably my favorite line. Good job, and good luck.
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very sad and dark, but really well done! a bit long for my tastes... but thats just me. thank you for your entry
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This was very sad and quite dark, but it was extremely well written. I loved the rhyme. And there was some great imagery in there. You did an amazing job. Keep up the great work. .
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I know this piece in my own mind, it's not hard to understand when you live this yourself. Best to you in the contest
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AMAZING!!
Your flow and rhyme was excellent! It had me cringing...at the same time I just wanted to know more! It fits the prompt perfectly. Great write. Well done.
Thankyou for entering my contest and best of luck.
peace
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Lacuna Coil
Lacuna Coil did a good job with that song... -
Intense
Dark and disturbing but compelling. Great insight into a disturbed soul. Well written!
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An excellent take on the prompt.
The rhyming structure and depth of words brought this piece to life.
Thanks for your entry.
'D' -
Excellent write. The imagery here takes one on a journey into madness. Well done.
**Ktulu Blackwolfe** -
Intense and good ryhme.
Penned well.
Good luck in the contest.
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Wow. The intensity of madness is evident in this piece and makes it a wonderful piece. great job
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your title is ...
Veins of Glass by Lacuna Coil
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