the secrets that you kept
and the lies that you told
fear not of the truth
but the lie that behold
and let it all go
feel as i the pain inside
you hurt me deep
but only a cut appears
fix me not
i can heal but not alone
secrets kill but only the passion
love that once was
is not love that is not
apologetic you are not
i am appaled
like a soaring eagle
i am hunting for your prey
no not of what you must fear
and only of the pain
catch my cat
and set me free
sex is just a game
and you must play
vultures of all evil
two can play this game
A contest entry
- Anything by Beating.
550 points, ended May 3, 53 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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First of all, you should remember that I should always be in capital. Second of all, I really felt that this piece was lacking punctuation. Some places I didn't know quite how to get from one line to the next, without making a mess of the meaning. Punctuation should solve that problem.
Other than that, this is very well written, and I agree with most of the things said. Good job! -
Secrets kill. The most honest thing I have read in awhile!
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Awesome piece. The last line is a great ending. Have you considered breaking this one up into stanzas? That would add more impact to it. Awesome job, nevertheless. Keep it up.
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Good poem. I enjoyed reading it.
Jake
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