Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Addiction's Wrath

It started off fun, messing about
Thirteen and happy - without a doubt
Fuck addiction, it can't happen to us
How naive, of course it could

Insecure and hates herself,
doesn't think about her health
Vodka gives the confidence she lacks
Soon to be needles, bruises and tracks

Late nights lead to a hospital bed
What is going on in this girl's head?
Prozac prescribed, depression takes over
She'd be different now to all those who'd known her

Depression and drugs, they don't mix well
Just dragged her back again through hell
She steals, she cheats she lies her way
Just to make it through the day

No glamor in this like she predicted
She's lost all hope and become addicted
Family members, it breaks their heart
To see her tear her life apart

She will only continue down this path
Falling victim to addiction's wrath
Fourteen now, weighing at 70 pounds
Ask her - now is this messing around?

Author notes

Username - abmsem

Well, this is written from an outsider's perspective about me. Drugs led to vicious circle of depression and illness.

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 31 of 31

  • LovelyTraces
    June 7

    Edit | Reply
    Although it wasn't perfectly flowing the whole way through, I did keep reading intently until the end. This is a very touching testimony to what you've been through, but I would have liked to hear more detail on it. This is good, though. Sometimes details are too difficult, and I understand that.
    Your rhyme didn't seem forced, and you had a powerful message. I understand addictions, having quite a few of my own, and I know how hard it is to get out of the grave you've dug for yourself.
    Through the poem, it wasn't clear whether you're off the drugs now or not, but I hope you've gotten free of this, and are now rebuilding your life. Great job on the poem, and good luck in all your contests.


  • GothicFyre
    May 22
    Edit | Reply
    Nice write, told a great story. I like it!


  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    May 7
    Edit | Reply
    i was beginning to think i wouldn't find a third write for the finalists. congratulations on making it there. thank you for entering and i wish you well in this contest. viyanna rosemarie


  • TwilightAngel026
    May 7

    Edit | Reply
    Deffinately a good piece. Great flow, and emotion. Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.


  • XneverXgoodXenoughX
    May 5

    Edit | Reply
    this really hit dome for me. everything that youre diescibing would probably be my family perspective on wha tis happeneing to me, and i just keep spiriling down. i really like this. great job, and good luck in my contst


  • FreeFalling911
    May 1
    Edit | Reply
    This is an amazing poem!!! I really like how it flows.
    GOOD LUCK


  • NoseRingGirl
    May 1

    Edit | Reply
    Hey so by now, maybe you've read some of my poems (maybe not), but I know all about this, sweetheart. I'm coming up on the one year anniversary of the death of that part of my life. For 6 years, I was ruled by the booze, the pills, the powders, the thrills (btw, don't steal that, i'm totally going to use in a poem now . Anywho, this was very touching and gave me a chill almost, as it pretty much read like my autobiography. Hang in there, princess; it's SOO much brighter on the other side, if you can make it there.


  • TabbyCat
    April 30

    Edit | Reply
    You've made your message crystal clear..."messing around" with drugs is never safe or smart...and it can lead to immeasurable pain. Well written...very real.


  • PolarbearOpapatika
    April 30

    Edit | Reply
    This was really good. A real honest poem. I think you are awesome in the fact that you dont hold back. Great job and i support you!


  • This Is My Story
    April 30

    Edit | Reply
    I really really like this. They rhyming was really well written and the whole poem overall was a brutally honest outlook. Well done!


  • youhadme-athello.
    April 30

    Edit | Reply
    i kind of know how you feel.
    its really hard.
    i'm glad to see youve gotten through it though.
    this is a very good write.
    chin up,
    ashley.


  • sinkfloridasink
    April 30
    Edit | Reply
    It was really sad because I started smoking marijuana when I was around fourteen and the many friends I had are mostly highly addicted to lortabs and perscription medicine...theyre completly delusional and are completly different people....Addiction's Wrath is wicked and we all face that whhether we do drugs or not. This was a great piece you have here


  • xeroabyss II
    April 29

    Edit | Reply
    Such is the journey of life, and the myrid of paths to choose from that are often too steep a descent and we are unable to make our way back along the way we came sometimes.


  • Vintage Chiffon
    April 29

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you so much for entering my contest. I enjoyed this poem very much and I am glad that it made it to a finalist round. Although it did not make a trophy winner I hope that I can see more from you in the future.


    -Damien


  • Vintage Chiffon
    April 28
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent Job

  • abmsem
    April 28
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for the comment, I appreciate it. Yes, I couldn't think of a word to rhyme but settled with 'us' and 'could' because they still have the same smooth sound and it doesn't change the structure too much.


  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    April 28

    Edit | Reply
    This was a good piece it is something that creeps up on you without warning. I noticed you lost your rhyme in the first verse but recovered well. Best to you in the contest


  • T.o.r.t.u.r.e. gold member
    April 19

    Edit | Reply
    this really is a truely good write, i really like the bluntness and phrasing you used. Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest


  • RawrSmileBabyPlz
    April 19

    Edit | Reply
    I couldnt help but picture everything in my mind as i read this, ahmazing write. thanks for entering
    *perfectly Imperfect&*
    Mashell Macabre


  • Denerica
    April 18
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent writing of your experience, the exact torment I seen others like you face. Blessings.


  • afullmetalwar
    April 17
    Edit | Reply

    ...

    It sounds like a warning that i have used so many times before,and yet it seems ignored. But i don't like the edge coloring, it draws away from the poem itself, and my eye keeps on being drawn to it
    i will give a 5/5 for the poem, and 2/5 for the coloring. You get 4/5 for the message. And a 4/5 for the picture that the poem gives
    Grand total of 15/20


  • Ami
    April 13

    Edit | Reply

    Really good

    but you forgot to put what family member?
    Great Write and
    Thank You for entering
    Good Luck
    -♥Amanda♥


  • A Desperate Hero
    April 13

    Edit | Reply

    Amazed

    Wow... Down to 70 Ibs? Damn... You survived? That's *crazy*! I'd love to find out how you pulled yourself out of this downward spiral! I thought this was all fiction until I saw what this was about!


  • innocence jaded.xx
    April 12

    Edit | Reply
    is there any way you could enter a poem that hasnt won a trophy ?
    otherwise, it wouldn't be fair to anyone else. lol

  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    April 3

    Edit | Reply
    thank you for this entry into my contest. i wish you the best of luck in the judging process. viyanna rosemarie


  • MysticBlue gold member
    April 3
    Edit | Reply
    Great poem and insight too. I will make you my AP cousin.
    Thank you and hugs,
    Marie


  • DramaQueen469 gold member
    March 31

    Edit | Reply
    I've been there too, and this poem brings tears to my eyes. WELL DONE my friend, and good luck

    Maria


  • DarkShard
    March 30
    Edit | Reply
    wow finally a voice that deserves to be heard. ihear you and what a speach you made. love your tone and style. everything aboutit rocked and your poem would send alot of chills and tears down the eyes over people who need to hear it addicted and ignorant people who do not care about the eople who suffer, you have alot to give in this contest. welcome to round 2.


  • Blue-Rose Beauty
    March 30
    Edit | Reply
    I really like it.


  • Dlvvanzor
    March 28
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. That's effectively unsettling. The last lines especially. The line 'Depression and drugs, they don't mix well' was almost funny, but of course it was morbid-type funny. Great write.

    If this is still your life, I hope you can break the cycle *hugs*

    -Dlvvanzor


  • DinkyDiver gold member
    March 28
    Edit | Reply
    Wow!!

1 - 31 of 31