As the day pass,
With this bizarre feeling I have,
Alone in the dark room,
No one cares me,
Thinking about the past,
Sorrows and pain came upon me,
And a weird feeling I felt,
Extraordinary pain deep inside me,
I felt that I am going to cry,
A drop of tear,
Surge as I cry,
I wonder where it came from,
I look at the mirror,
Shocked with what I saw,
It’s my tears,
A crimson tears…
In a list
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A contest entry
- Options, Options, and More Options by RainbowEyes.
700 points, ended October 14, 83 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark writes contest!!!! Check it out by Englandgirl2008.
450 points, ended May 17, 71 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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Sad
I also wrote a poem named Crimson Tears, only mine can be a bit scary and angry.. Good luck in my contest!
~Gin -
I don't think there's a dirty whore in the world who has seen this much douche. Yikes.
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This has to be Douche with a capital 'D'.
Can I call you Captain Douche?
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Strong emotions invoked in every line.
Great job with this!
♥ Kate -
That was so great it really was a fasinating piece. It really was an intresting poem
The Positives:
great poem it really sounded good read out loud. I think you did a wonderful job on this bravo
Room For Improvement:
Nothing I can see you did wonderful
My Favorite Part:
A drop of tear,
Surge as I cry,
I wonder where it came from,
I look at the mirror,
Shocked with what I saw,
It’s my tears,
A crimson tears…
I really love the end it reminds me of vampires which I think is what you were going for. Great job
Overall:
I give this an 8/10 you did great. I hope to see you in my future contests thanks so much for entering.
~*~Apathetic Poison~*~
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Line 4 didn't really make sense ... and I agree with Letitia.Michelle as regards the last line. All told, it's still a great poem with a lot of brilliant emotions.
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the last line kinda confused me..it just doesnt seem to fit. overall a good write though
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I am sorry but this does not follow my rules of drabbles with exactly 100 words... not 99 not 101. And since it does not follow the rules it would not be fair to place you in this contest. I am sorry.
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Lovely write, expressing a sad feeling. Nice imagery - thanks and good luck
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Some spell checking would be nice.. And grammar checking would be nice also. But this is really good. Thanks for sharing. kahy
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The title fits the poem very well. There aer some grammatical erors, but you did a wonderful job. Good luck.
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I Think I might have to go cut the doucheness out of me.
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"crimson tears". That's expressive. I like the feeling you created here.
Thank you for entering my contest.
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The last line to me didnt really make sense and i always think it you could edit it up a little bit. (: thanks for entering xD
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It is in need of some editing... Nice job on this otherwise-- crimson tears fascinate me.
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Very pretty. I enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing. ^-^
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WOOOO
yeah man gangsta words i could rap this a little so i love it way to go homie and how do you like the group i read all on here so word up keep it real nice rhymes -
slight amount of editing needed, but crimson tears are a reoccuring motif that i love to use in poetry and novels. all of these poems are freeform i've noticed, but becareful that you do return back to cnversational prose.
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change the forms of words but good
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very beautiful :')
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wow
this poem is omg im lost for words just pure amazing '' a crimson tears '' pure brillance keep on writing
thank you
comment my peoems love to here from you -
wow
this poem is omg im lost for words just pure amazing '' a crimson tears '' pure brillance keep on writing
thank you
comment my peoems love to here from you
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