The touch of his lips to mine
once inflamed a torch in my soul
with an ardent urgency;
whose fingers of fire
stitched wings to my dreams,
my lover planted his seed,
one came to define us...
Abort this unwanted child.
Another sacrificial lamb to die,
forsaken as; inconvenient.
I am pale and weak at the end,
every breath labored with longing
...and knives, cut away
your unnamed flesh...
without a speck of humanity,
compromise the innocent.
What made us think we had the right
to sever the crimson thread
that binds... while stealing stars
from your eyes ...we died too.
Hot hands have turned to ice,
lovers are strangers
with tombstone eyes, sifting
through rubble of regret
we fumble forgiveness...
Could any god ever forgive us now,
if we cannot redeem ourselves?
[ We are stunned to wonder... ] Did you have the iris of his eyes,
the rose of my lips, tiny ghost
who haunts our lives, who never
took a breath of spring... before we
tossed you into the lap of winter.
Author notes
Prompt: We are the unnamed flesh in the snows of winter,
moaned under the cemeteries grasping the fleeting feet
of God, flayed upon the flicker of death.
Image: Fetus 14 Weeks... NOTE: I DID NOT write this to jump on the pro-life band wagon... The prompt above led me to pen this portrait of a passionate couple who made a decision that had some unforseen repercussions. I chose to write from that perspective... and if this touches a nerve, I wrote it well. Empathy requires that we be able to see things from many different viewpoints and this one happened to break my heart.
A contest entry
- unnamed flesh by adsaige.
400 points, ended April 7, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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profound
a profound piece of writing that inspires me to view my own opinions. i love the imagery , metaphors- all comparisons. they are realistic n are beyond what we thik of wher talking about abortion. for me, this is a very sensitive matter and it touched my inner personne... well written and very stuctured.. -
So well written, it tears my heart out. This is a subject that I feel very deeply about and I wish I hadn't read this poem. I hope you take that as a complement. It takes a lot in a poem to really make me feel. This is Brilliant!
Love,
Amera♥
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Fingers of fire stitching wings to dreams, inflaming a torch in the soul, sacificial womb, breath labored with longing, knives cutting one's unnamed flesh, crimson thread that binds, stealing stars from eyes, hands turning to ice, tombstone eyes sifting through rubble of regret....all these images and metahors are splendid. I was stunned at your power of creation. Sheer brilliance!
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Well, this brought me to tears. Bravely written and speaks beyond the controversy. Heart breaking when the consequences to a choice are so far reaching. "forsaken as; inconvenient." works so well with the ending 5 lines- the coldest regret.
We all belly up to the banquet of consequences (can't remember who said that, but I like it).
I have had a couple of miscarriages (desperately wanted pregnancies) so this pecks at those raw nerves. I love this snippet:
"to sever the crimson thread
that binds...."
Masterfully done (as usual)
KW~
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There is no right answer only consequences. You capture the pain, when the choice is abortion. It always hurts and is never forgotten, no matter how right is feels. We become adults suddenly and sometimes at great cost when we see how our actions can mean life or its end. You have captured this very well. Best in presenting all the emotional consequences. Pro-Life or Pro-Choice is never the arguement to me. But that is another discussion.
Love, Tom B.
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life is disturbing.
This is a perfect reflection of the realities that come to pass where decisions can never be black or white based on yesterday - unaware of tomorrow's truth.
ken
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This is disturbing, I'm all for freedom of choice, but I certainly hope the parties involved have thought long and hard before excercising that right. A gutsy and relevent piece of work!!!
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This was very well writ. It pours empathy.
I am all for choice myself. But, I love this poem and what you have expressed in it.
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markgrif
ME TOO!!!
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There is no need for editing here...
The ending is pure rapture in metaphoric meaning and the rest, well, superb in feeling and depth.
Using abortion as a forum to question the realms of forgiveness (I believe) lessens the controversy.
It truly is a matter of what we can live with and what we can't. Some regrets come without compromise and we can never take yesterday back. Empathy is the true message here. We should look beyond the obvious (right/murder) issue to see all of us standing shoulder to shoulder in human nature with all its beauty and weakness.
Blue
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Awesome
Re your AN: More editing? If you must, Cia, then okay; but it IS already a powerful well-written piece on this delicate sunject, filled with poignant imagery, truthful, stirring...Well done
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Whew!
Oh my what a powerfully intense write. Taking a very spooky subject and making it so amazing. great write, best of luck in the contest.
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perhaps the souls of those who don't have to experience the pain and suffering that too often come with stumbling across the surface of this planet are the lucky ones. then again, who, if any of us who've been in that place yet also experienced the unbounding end of love, joy and pleasure have the authority to decide who stays and goes. this will always be a controversial topic regardless of who's on extreme sides of the discussion...
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