My soul has been starved from ibis warmth
intentions of jacinthe burst across the skies
and I hunger for the dance.
I ache to rise and fall
upon meadows of celadon,
soothing and restoring
petals long dead.
Winter snow has withered
and new dawn reflects
the passion of chrysochlorous.
Heartbeat racing as brumby thunders
to the call of creation,
searching frantically to fulfill
that need of thawing stream.
And so the desire of the ages
weaves its magic
and I hover on tenderfoot,
a jay flying upon fresh wings.
Author notes
Words Used - ibis (pale apricot)
jacinthe- (orange colou
celadon (pale green)
chrysochlorous (greenish-gold)
In a list
A contest entry
- An Evening Dalliance With Dandelion~Simple Seduction by Blue Rew.
1222 points, ended April 4, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please Tell Me What You Think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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You inspire, and bring such warmth and with the onset of spring, when life begins again out of the dormancy of winter...Beautifully penned sis
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This floods the senses with an urgency brought forth in sound and colour. I especially liked~
"passion of chrysochlorous" & "brumbly thunders"
Very nice, the relating of season to changes in
desire. Blue
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I wish for the first few stanza's of this piece, it seems so perfect and serene. You are brilliant you know. Best to you in the contest
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I love this "brumby thunders to the call of creation" and the whole tone you set of yearning towards spring in colors. The jay hovering is a nice ending, too.
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This poem carries a future;
Brilliant and very near! -
Precious yer approach
"Creation" linked to "thawing stream" carries something to the mind! The Universe is really like anything that thaws in stream!
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Excellent
I like how it stirs the mind and forces you to contemplate each passage, how it's jagged rhythm bites at you and still says something that makes sense. Nice work! Very colorful, choice of metaphors well done. Five stars!!!! -
Wow Gaylene. I need to educate myself further to keep up with this one. You did an excellent job of using the words in the list. And, the idea is fascinating as well.
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Enchanting
Whole poem is simply magical, so vivid and filled with beautiful descriptions. I usually don't like poems which main topic is nature because they lack originality, but this one is greatly written and refreshing at the same time. Whole atmosphere that you created from the beginning to the end left me in awe. Also, I really like your choice of words throughout the poem [I even learned a new ones-jacinthe & chrysochlorous]
Overall, whole poem is magical.
Well done.
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Excellent
A very well expressed poem. so heartfelt and creative. Love the word usage. Best of luck in the contest.
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Liked it, but didn't understand it.
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it is a nice piece that deserve a great brain like yours. congra
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a magical weave of words which wander time's sensational seconds, and desire slips a hand in offer to dance with joy. a good poem.
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