What sinful pleasures can be found,
Lying deep beneath the ground?
A contest entry
- Stuff and Nonsense... spoofs and silly poems... PREWRITES by PinkPony.
700 points, ended March 28, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - xx Short Poems. May The Best ShortWrite Win! xx by xxRainbowDawnxx.
700 points, ended March 31, 103 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [ Anything Goes ] by HereComesTheSun.
1100 points, ended April 22, 151 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [almost] anything. by owlish.
900 points, ended May 30, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I appreciate all criticisms. Please keep them constructive though.
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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nice.....
for a short poem it was good...but i wish it could of been a bit longer...other then that you made your point....great job
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For such a short poem, you certainly made your point with this one. In two lines it gives a powerful message...this is brilliant. Best wishes in the contest
Keep writing Thanks for sharing
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Here i find in my own hell
the painful ringing of a bell
A glimpse of hope, the sudden glance
the tragic memory of lost chance
Lol, i don't know why but that came to mind ^_^
It's very powerful and makes people think, you should make it an add line instead. ^_^
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Good
I, too, generally don't like short poems, but this poem is really good. In two short verses it sends across a very powerful message. Great job and good luck!
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Hell, I wish to visit never
is Heaven
forever and ever
and ever.
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I usually don't like so short of poems, but this is really clever. It evokes some thought, sparks the imagination. For only two lines, this piece is powerful.
Fantastic.
And good luck.
=)
Peace && Blesses,
~Rain -
what a compelling piece
thanks for entering -
I agree, but considering the evils I am sure they will find something disturbing to enjoy, those types can.
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This is a very fine poem and I rather wish all poems would be just two lines and that would make haiku a LONG POEM! 
lol Clever writing... I love the rhyming. 
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