Did you see her face as she kissed me?
Champagne teardops in her eyes,
alcoholic smile.
Goddamn...
I love her, you know?
A contest entry
- xx Short Poems. May The Best ShortWrite Win! xx by xxRainbowDawnxx.
700 points, ended March 31, 103 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bring your best PW (5 to 50 words) QUICKY by Meroza.
700 points, ended April 1, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites; short poems only. by deadcolor dreams.
900 points, ended April 6, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites, please! by division.
400 points, ended October 28, 180 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
Beautiful and interesting, I love it. The images were wonderful, I could even taste them. Thanks for your lovely entry and good luck to you.
-
A very interesting take on the prompt. Well done
Best of luck
-
The first line I think you got some words jumbled in the wrong order.
This is so passionate and it kind of makes me want to cry and scream at the time time. I like it. Please change the order, as I'd like to finalise this! x -
-
The correction has been made! Thanks
-
-
Dude, it's all gonna be okay. She's safe and having a wonderful time. I know you miss her but on the plus side, you're getting some good poetry out of it. (lol) And you don't have to go to school and not see her. Try and enjoy your day. You know I'm here if you need me. Oh and the poem was great too! ~Des
-
Mmmm, I like this. "Champagne" is such a tangible adjective and I love the way you use "alcoholic".
The ending hits me well.
Well written.
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
