I Never Knew by penchanted at All poetry

No longer able to flaunt youthful beauty
I have become invisible to the general populace.
They look past me when they walk by
and with an awkward jolt of shock reality
I realize I never knew
I had come to embrace
the stares
I used to claim to disdain
until I saw vacant eyes staring past me.
I never understood
how much society valued youth
until I was no longer young.

Author notes

I think this write speaks for itself. However giving credit to my ability to always find a silver lining, I know this is a stage of coming to terms with middle age. Nevertheless it was a shock to realize how I would grieve my passing youth.
credit for image to photobucket: the marilyn

A contest entry

Raw Like Steak Tartare by MJ Donnelly. 2000 points, ended April 12, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest

What did you think

Comments

1 - 27 of 27

By me, right now

Adding your comment:
Draig aine
August 2
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boy oh boy
did you hit a homer with this one, bravi
- penchanted
  August 2
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  I am most pleased and humbled. Thank you
Bob 42
June 5

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'Today is the first day...
of the rest of your life.' Only God knows, how long
that will be; I like to think of middle aged as half way there. Literally
- penchanted
  June 5
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  Thank you so much for your comment. yes today is the first day, and this write is reflection of my discovery of feelings I never knew I would have about middle age. I thought I would arrive feeling all full of wisdom and serenity.. LOL. OMG! The older I get the more I realize what I don't know. We are all works in progress and writing is one of the ways I find healing so I can move on. And yes.. thinking of it as being half way there is better than thinking of the half I have left behind.. sort of the glass half full concept
  
  Jo
penman
May 26
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Excellent
A very well expressed write. So very well done. Best of luck in the contest.
- penchanted
  May 26
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  Thank you You bless me when you read my writes and I also come away blessed after reading yours.
  
  Jo
Keith Drew
April 28

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To cling to the obvious is a sin yet we all do it.We all need to swim within beauty.
It is a human trait and frailty.
Which you sooner awaken to?
A man with the body of a God.
Or a God with the body of a man?
- penchanted
  April 28
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  I'll take the "God with the body of a man" for we are formed of dust with the spirit of God within us.
  
  Jo
sleepinglion
April 24

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After the storm
The seas are quiet when the winds give o'er
So calm are we when passions are no more
For then we know how vane it was to boast
Of fleeting things so certain to be lost
clouds of affection from our younger eye's
Conceal that emptiness which age descries

The souls dark cottage, battered and decayed
lets in new light through chinks that time has made
Stronger by weakness, wiser men become
As they draw near to their eternal home
Leaving the old, both Worlds at once they view,
That stand upon the threshhold of the New

Edmund Waller

Regards David
- penchanted
  April 24
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  Ohhh David.. that is so beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing it with me. Ahhhh the learning of perspective and how it changes as we grow and learn. Midlife is all about coming to terms with the changes, and learning acceptance.
  I am becoming more comfortable all the time in these changes. either we do or we live miserably and I will not go away quietly
  
  Jo
BearWoman
April 8

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I sooo hear you sister
In my youth I was a "hot young thang," a body builder (sculptor), dancer, quite a hot little number. Now, disabled and of elephantine proportions, quite a different response is forthcoming from the populace.

Thanks for this write.
- penchanted
  April 9
  
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  Thank you
  We have something in common, I was a theater arts major and dancer in the mid 70's. Ohh I miss those days when I was taking three dancing classes and a diving class in college per term along with my academics.. I mean how hard could theater be?.. LOL.. Not a care in the world until I ran out of money for school. Thank you for kind comment and taking time to read my write!!
  
  Jo
truembrace
April 7

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I keep peeking around the corner at the calendar with realizing I haven't hit the hurdle of having the mid-life crisis as I think the saying is now that the age now for that is at least ten years later than what it used to be. So, I sit in hopes that I'm not going to be one that finds myself having a coronary when the gray hair hits at 40, which is just around the corner. (crossing fingers).

I think I'm going to be surprised as well when I hit that stage where the birthdays that I overlooked all of a sudden will find me going "man this sucks!!"

Thanks for sharing one of those things that's milling around in the back of my mind but I've yet to put words to.

Kim
- penchanted
  April 7
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  Ahhh Middle age
  Well the new middle age is around 50.. I loved being 40. I was more confident in myself, and my opinion. I no longer had to dance with attraction but felt confident enough to "engage" in attraction when it came to the opposite sex. But hitting 50 has sucked some of the wind out of my sails. One of the reasons is that as I get older time flies by so much faster. Time has increased to "warp speed" as the used to call it on Star Treck, and that bothers the hell out of me. But like anything once you get over the shock you start accepting it. And I'm working on getting better at acceptance.. then the next phase is to relish it!! Thank you for your comment!
  
  Jo
Emmyb
March 28

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i liked the ending to this poem. and i think you chose a popular and saddening topic to stick your head into . well done. i hope you do well.
- penchanted
  March 28
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  Thank you
  I suppose it is becoming a popular topic with the tons of us baby-boomers coming of age. But I chose it because it is something I am personally dealing with and it helps to write it out.. get it out.. Thanks again..
  Jo
A.E.Blackwell
March 28

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so very sad...like ripping ones heart out and stomping it...great job with this, though....and you used the perfect photo for it...i love her...those that aren't born as beautiful/attractive find that youth doesn't bring much...you're just farther from your end...

good luck in your contest! i shall read more...
- penchanted
  March 28
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  Thank you
  Yes you are so right in your comment "those who aren't born beautiful/attractive find youth doesn't bring much" Funny thing.. when I was young I didn't think I was pretty. But as Bob Fox in his comment below pointed out.. its sad how shallow our society has become or is... It's the beauty on the inside that counts. There are many "beautiful" people in the world that are pretty ugly on the inside. At any rate thank you so much for your comment.
storiesuntold
March 27

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Oh honey ahe is a blessing
I am 55 and for a while there when I was sick I didnt feel too prety for sure .But everyday now I am feeling better and have that smile back for all to see .You see its not age they look past for if you smile and greet people they cant help but smile back and recognize that your smile brings back that lovely girl again . Bravo on this write
- penchanted
  March 27
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  Thank you
  well my friend if you read on down below you'll see this was therapy in the making for me..in the comment titled.. "walking Tall My Friend" you can read the epiphany I had while processing this write through other's comments.. very, very theraputic...
  Jo
Bob Fox
March 27

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poet
my is this not the truth. in todays world it is almost a sin to get older. you words have reminded me of just how shallow our world has become. Hell even here on AP there is very little room for older poets. Well done & walk tall.
- penchanted
  March 27
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  Walking Tall my Friend
  Thank you for your kind comments. Yes our world is shallow but only if we allow it to be that way. Now that I've opened my heart and mind to this realization since writing it have developed a plan. I will no longer be the invisible woman. Now I know why older women come up with these red hat clubs. We of the older generation (if we have learned anything at all) have much to offer youth. I will not leave this planet invisible, but instead will look at those vacant eyes and smile. It is my gift to humanity. There is a reason those eyes are vacant.. ohhh I see another write brewing in me as I write this.... I was never a woman who cowered to anything, or anyone and why now have I allowed myself for even a season to cower to middleagedom? It's all a process and adjusting to this too is a process, a crossroads even youth will come to eventually..
  Jo
MJ Donnelly
March 27
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Thank you for your effort.

mj.
- penchanted
  March 27
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  Thank you for the contest
  your contest pointed me in a new direction.. even though I knew it wouldn't be the imagery you were looking for, your contest provoked a write out of me that needed to be written. I choose contests that will challenge me to another level. And yours provide me that platform.. thank you
  Jo
- - MJ Donnelly
    March 27
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    Your welcome hun, and I will host many more contests, of that you can be sure. As for the imagery, well, that too will come with practice, as you coax the feelings and visuals from your mind.
    
    I started out writing years ago with all the depth and eloquence of a prepubescent love letter.
penchanted
March 26
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Thank you
Thanks Richard for your comments..you know they mean a lot to me. I'm feeling myself growing, as I learn the craft of writing.. trying on imagery like trying on a new dress.. see how it flows..getting honest with feelings but trying to dig out of me the image that portrays the feeling.
Yes I know the book passages well. But nothing prepared me for this, reading it and feeling it are two totally different things and I know you realize this. Thank you my friend for your comment.. Now don't steal it from me k?.. LOL...
Jo