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Murderer's Lament

Roses may be red
And violets may be blue
But I can’t do anything
To bring back you.
If you know me by now
Then you know I don’t rhyme
But for you, love, I think that
I’ll take out the time.
I thought you should know
That your rose is still red
And I guess I’ll fit in
That my violet is dead.
For the more that I try
The more people will die.
And the more that I give
The less people will live.
And the deeper I cut- it is never enough.
Because your fatal petals- will always be rough.
And the deeper I love- it is never enough.
Because my sacred heart- will always be rough.
And the voices are harsh
When they speak of the rose
And they’re all getting louder
Because everyone knows.
Roses are red… like the blood on my wrist
Violets are blue… like the clutch of my fist.
And envy is green, like the stem of the flower
I wish I was with you with all of my power.
You’ve washed away the glistening dawn
And you’ve repressed another yawn
And taken my free will to cry
And listened as I said Goodbye.
But I must face, it was my knife
That went and took away your life
For roses are red, and violets are blue…
And you are dead- and I wish I was too.

Author notes

This was actually written for a novel I'm working on, in which one of the chapters the main character kills his lover who always had asked her to grow him a rose. She used to always give him beautiful violets from her garden. And he gave her the rose on her tombstone. Well there is more to it, but that's a basic overview.

prompt: “In my nothing, you were everything, to me.” –Trent Reznor

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • SunriseMist
    November 19
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    I lovelovelovelove it : D
    Really flows, nice rhthym, greaaat twisted story line, and just one little niggle because I AM picky: On that last line "And you are dead- and I wish I was too" maybe cut out one of the ands: "And you are dead-I wish I was too" Or something.
    But I LOOOOOVEE it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Absolutely beautiful, thank you for postinggg
    : DDDD


  • emolove1892
    May 15
    Edit | Reply
    best poem ever!!!!!


  • hyper thing
    May 13
    Edit | Reply
    this is really good and really sad

    keep up the good work


  • Cyanide Dreams
    April 16

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, and you haven't won a trophy for this yet?! I think this piece could use line breaks but that's the only constructive criticsm I could give. The rhyme was great and seemed to flow naturally. Your emotion in this is so strong, so raw. I really liked this poem a cliche but very dark type poem, making it your own. Great imagery in this piece too. Good job and good luck in the contest.

    Josh


  • Kathraina silver member
    April 15

    Edit | Reply
    The whole cutting thing really bugs me, mainly cuz I used to do it. But, you've written a brilliant piece here. I'm really drawn to it.
    Marvelous job!


    ♥ Kate


  • Umi Juvariel
    April 9

    Edit | Reply
    Great to see another writing a novel. Sounds interesting. Great write here, though. Wonderful word choice. Excellent write and good luck in my contest.


  • Sam-I-Am
    March 30

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, that's powerful. I like it I do.
    The pace at the end from "You’ve washed away the glistening dawn..." dwindles a little, but overall it is a very powerful write. Good luck!
    Sam


  • MichaelSavage gold member
    March 29
    Edit | Reply
    Great write and very well done. Good luck in contest and your novel.
    Michael


  • stella187
    March 26

    Edit | Reply
    I love this poem, It is really good. I didn't quite understand some of it but that be because I am a bit thick, and it is 1.30 am here.

    Brilliant.

    Jenny

1 - 9 of 9