My Tears of Joy

Thank you, Katie
Thank you so much
I needed that
That is what i have been waiting for this whole time
You to explain it all out in person
To give me assurance
To give me rest.

You will never understand or see what I've seen or have been put through
But maybe one day you will.

I thank you though
I thank you so very much
For breaking loose my chains.

I needed to hear that
Especially you telling me,
"It's ok Sarah. It's ok to let go.
You won't betray me if you let go. Just let go."

You've made such a huge impact on me.
You've opened my eyes
You've given me....Myself
Who I truly am, and what I need to truly figure out.

You've unlocked me.
I feel such endless bliss
Such relief.
The breath flowing through my nostrils
Down into my lungs.
So nice.

I needed that
That assurance
That's what I was waiting for
Though I do not think I could really get it out in words.

I apologize for the very last and final time
For all that I caused
I take back every damn thing I have ever said and did wrong to all,
Especially to you.
Especially for enraging you so hard.

You have prepared me
In a way that no one else in this world could have prepared me for.

Thank you, Katie
Thank you so very much
For teaching me,
For releasing me,
For putting up with my crap in your own way,
For opening my eyes
And heart.

I will never forget you.
I am always going to keep you inside here.

You don't need to be told by me,
But I just want to express to you anyway:
Don't ever give up
Keep going
No matter how many times your knocked down
Do not ever lose your fire,
Yourself.
Because you are too amazing
You are too gifted.
Always pick yourself up.
Just do not die.

I know you might shun me,
Because of all that I caused,
But I just need you to know this.
I need to let you know now asap,
Of the enormity of goodness you have bestowed upon me
Of the massive amounts of tears flowing out of my eyes these past few hours
Still right now,
Today.
And they are nothing of sorrow,
Nor anger,
Nor confusion.
Just joy
Pure joy
Pure relief.

Like what your first name translates to,
Pure.

I just want to enjoy these last few months,
With the Amoeba
With you
In celebration
In happiness
In Fun,
For all of these past years of bliss and struggle
That we all have made it through.

Now it finally being our time,
To be rewarded for the efforts we have strove through.

I thank you, Katie
I thank you to the very extreme of life,
From the core,
The very pit of my heart,
Thank You, Katie!
Thank You for your love.