diamond-edged darkness
can't only bite;
noise gnaws nearby,
steady:
mattress springs creaking
like cat-calls.
[she's doing it,
again.]
who wouldn't lie awake?
& light licks like
stained glass.
clumsy sunlight stabs
thru warped blinds
unwelcomed.
i didn't sleep,
again.
A contest entry
- Unsung Prewrites! by Justified Inc..
700 points, ended April 2, 68 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites Contest by tears.of.silence.
1000 points, ended April 18, 407 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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hmm very entering... I have to say I like this poem a lot. I am going to give you an eleven on this poem. This brings your total to a 90. You have made the finalist list so far. So I thank you for entering the contest and the best of luck to you. Kahy
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Wow, thanks! I didn't think I'd make it.
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Vivid
This poem brought up all kinds of images and imaginings and emotions.....Very vivid and provoking! Nice job writing it!
Bravo!
Justified Inc.
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I really enjoyed reading this poem, its somewhat sexy and I dont know of you meant it to be but..
I love this part :
"& light licks
like -
stained glass." amazing imagery and depth.
Thank you and best wishes
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This reminds me of my college days... warped blinds, mattress springs creaking rhythmically (I love the "noise gnaws nearby / steady" lines). Great imagery, very descriptive.
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mattress springs creaking
like cat-calls.
[she's doing it,
again.]
brilliant!!!
like I was caught evesdropping unintentionally
the mood, the tone, the scene, perfectly decrisptive
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I actually love this.
In all honesty.
Truly, love this.
So original.
Good luck.
S. Sora <3
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