caged
by your stacks of coins
you promised truth
and knowledge
but you did not deliver
i am left instead
with bills
and your cubicle prison
dying to survive
Author notes
Written March 1st, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- . by Phoebe.
300 points, ended June 18, 2004, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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I'm not sure if I commented this already, but I know that I should have.
This poem comes from a background that my life has never touched.
And still...
I find myself being able to relate.
-
liked this
short but sweet
nice imagery with the coins and the " cubicle prison", the structure was perfect, all restrained- every word meant something...
also nice message, symbolism behind it all was great
prison cubicle is i suppose the noun descriptive thingy but cubicle prison sounds a hell of a lot more original...
-
They promise you the world in order to get your money - and make a slave out of you. Sometimes I think many of the slaves
had it better - at least they knew where their next meal was coming from!
Moses
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Ah, yes. Those without college courses under their belt can get a job, while those with them tend to be overqualified and rejected, or worse yet, not enough actual world experience. Well said poem, very well said.
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the last line was so powerful...i dont know what to say, this was amazing thanks very much for entering
xpoisonxgirlx -
i was just thinking about college, and how you go to learn, but then you get stuck in a dead-end job paying off student-loans
~Kate -
What happened that inspired this poem? I'm very interested.
Yours
Pauli -
it goes in the Societal Angst catagory.
-
I love it.
I hardly get to see stuff like this anymore on AP.
I do not see how this relates to the contest it was entered in but it is so good, and with such a good point behind it.
I can not see any problems with it, except like the other two I read, it does not exactly reach out and grab you, but it was so good to read. -
this is short but sweet and to the point. it's a very good write, i like the emotion that comes across in it. the feel as maru said. and it defenitly says what it's about. good write, thanx for entering.
-
Nice job here! Sad feel to it, but great write! I hate it when promises are not made. Strong feeling here.
Good luck in the contest! -
Gonna have to read this over n over again til i decide wot it is actually about..so far ive come up with 3 possiblities..hmmm..a real thinky one..
well done..
KAtt.. -
Hey!! you did a really nice job with this...it reminds me of how a friend of my felt!!! well anyways.....you did a great job...keep writing! its great to express yourseslf and to help others realte if they can!!! thanks for sharing!!! byes! always, Sam
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"Smile your ass is on fire"
Hey hun,
Your work seems all professional like now. I miss you lots
The first line was well writ'
I hope all is well hun
Blessed Be
Brianna
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