The sun hurried to sleep away this cold front
creeping across the land.
I longed to reach out and grab the red horizon;
savor it's warm embrace.
The winter calm moved swift.
My heart as ice.
My tears fell to the ground,
the faded green earth drinking deep
from my soul's fountain.
The Moon's jeering grin
tormented me. I felt his stare pierce through
my veneer of strength I led them to believe.
An x-ray into the core of my heart.
Soon the Sun melted the icy grounds,
water trickling around my feet.
She could not warm my soul.
A contest entry
- I WANT ANYTHING! by Umi Juvariel.
4300 points, ended April 9, 369 entries
Silver trophy winner
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1000 points, ended April 27, 171 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Looking for New Favourites ~ Give me your best by Aussie Gypsy.
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• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what do you like or not like about it?
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Sad poem...
But it hap a different twist to it.
Thank you very much for entering
and good luck -
This is a sad poem yet somehow happy.
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This has that nagging sadness of pieces that leave something on my soul, something outside what I'm reading. You made something perfect here. Best to you in the contest
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there really is something very sad in this it made my heart go out to you. I loved this so much you did a wonderful job here. It was almost lathargic in tone, like if you read this out load you would use a mono tone of someone who has given up on the world. Great job
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lovely writ kjinda sad and lonely a\but the word usage was great thankd for entering and good luck in the contest
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Lovely
This is a very beautiful write. Your words are chilling and lovely. So descriptive. I loved the lines"My tears fell to the ground,
the faded green earth drinking deep
from my soul's fountain." Very nice job and thank you for entering!
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This is beautiful. The last line was what really made me fall in love with your poem. I was reading this rather quickly to get to the next entry (yes, I'm a horrible person) but once I read the last line I started over and read the whole thing again and paid close attention to it. You've got a lot of talent. Thanks for entering.
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That ending line was what really hit home. It was subtle, yet struck like a poised blade. I think the person that commented before was rather rude about this. I think it has great potential. It is a finalist in my contest. You can tell the other commenter that they must have missed something, lol. Excellent write and good luck in my contest.
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Thanks for entering. I liked it. Just not a winner.
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