The reflection in the puddle,
It lies and shows only imperfections,
Like a two way mirror,
Somebody’s watching,
Shattered glass ripples across the water,
How many years of bad luck this time?
The truth has no place here,
A breath, fog on a broken mirror,
Suddenly it’s gone,
The mime below disappears,
She lays still as it all slowly drowns her.
No reflection left, only tears.
Author notes
For Contest:
[#2 - My Favorite]
A contest entry
- Dark writes contest!!!! Check it out by AngelsKissesJenna.
450 points, ended May 17, 71 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITE MADNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! by Kathraina.
650 points, ended August 15, 457 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Prewrites from March by Miss Faerie.
700 points, ended July 6, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What'd you think? Please let me know! (:
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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WOW
this si awesome so cute I like it!!
cheers!!
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Thank you! I appreciate it. (:
-- Tor
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Thank you for your Entry
The truth has no place here. I loved that line, it really stood out and took my breath. Your word choice is great, the imagery got more and more defined as the piece continued. Very well done.
Thank you for entering my contest and good luck
Shari
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touching and amazing
you are an amazing writer. It is very good and very touching. i love all of the feeling you put in your poems
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Very strong emotions invoked here.
A sad write. Bravo
♥ Kate -
This manages to be dark and beautiful at the same time. Wonderful writing... definately applausible =)
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Aww, thank you. This was inspired by a dream I had ages ago. And I can agree it was dark yet beautiful.. and there was almost a sense of serenity. Funny how dreams can inspire the best pieces a poet/writer will ever have. (:
-- Tor
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Such a dark write with great imagery!
you did a suberb job.
Best of luck!
Buster
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thank you so much for your kind words, it means so much.
-- Tor
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Much as she did in her lies, I drowned in this poem. It was a pleasure to read and kept me hooked till the end. It paints a brilliantly detailed picture of her and where she is in such a short amount of line, while still leaving enough mystery as to how she got there. Excellent poem.
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Sorry for such a late reply I have the tendency of reading a comment and thinking I replied when I never did. Your comment is such a compliment and inspires me to continue writing. Thank you!
-- Tor
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Our reflections are often contrary to our reality.
A good theme,lies, particularly lies that are in fact distorted by anothers perception.
You could reverse the last two lines, for a smoother ending.
Like best L5 and 6. particularly line 6 with its signs of total resignation of the fates.
liked this poem, a very good read thank you.
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Thank you so much for your wonderful comment! It made my day.. (:
I will reverse the last two lines.. thank you for pointing that out!
-- Tor
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sad
The use of the mirror is wonderful, mirrors some say are a portal to the "other" side, i wonder what she found while she drown. -
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I wonder the same thing to be entirely honest.
But, I haven't quite got that answer yet.
Thank you for your comment! (:
-- Tor
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I honestly love this wonderful poem. I couldnt help but read it many times. You've done well.
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Thank you so much, I'm so happy you liked it!!
-- Tor
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welcome to allpoetry
Really good imagery you have here. Such a sad feeling and so very vivid.
You did well writing your thoughts. I hope you will continue to write and share with us all.
Enjoy the site.
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Thank you so much for your comment, it means so much to me. (:
-- Tor
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you are such an inspiration !!! This poem is absolutely beautiful !!!! <3
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Wow!!! what a take on that picture! This is fantastic! You really did an outstanding job on this one! A true masterpiece!!
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