Sway by leander at All poetry

I saw her swaying

(almost in slow motion)

besides my bedroom window.

How annoyingly graceful,

that sight of a spider -

seemingly cheering

the beauty of spring

that I fail to experience.

I could pull her legs

(one by one)

hold my lighter

underneath her billowing body

or drown her

in the same deep water

(as me),

but I smashed her

with my shoe instead

and damned her back

to the blackness of my winter.

Unfortunately,

I couldn't care less.

Please tell me what you think

Comments

1 - 13 of 13

By me, right now

Adding your comment:
forbidden-colour
August 10
Edit | Reply

Hmm, started off poetic, and ended is a brutish.. almost violent way.
Interesting, decieving in a way.
Thank you for entering.
Sophie
piccola
June 20

Edit | Reply

nice phrasing here and vivid imagery ... I shudder at the thoughts of pulling the legs off ... drowning I often do. We have tons of daddy long legs here ... crushing seems more kind I guess. Even in a metaphor at least it is quick.
Age of Rain
March 30

Edit | Reply

'underneath her billowing body
or drown her
in the same deep water
(as me),'

beautifully bitter. sorrow tends to be
Polaja
March 28

Edit | Reply

I love the "annoyingly graceful" line - although I love spiders, and cringed at a part of this poem - it is a brilliant write and I like that you format your poems to take the reader further into your words wonderful!

Polly
Virgoan
March 28
Edit | Reply

i like how intense and direct the emotions of this piece.

excellent work Sir
Nicolette
March 26

Edit | Reply

"I couldn't care less" and a touch of anger are called the "survival emotion", my friend. You are a survivor of loss (i understand that one myself, lol).

Loved the directness of this poem. And I don't like spiders - the real and the metaphorical ones!! Good one, leander

~ Nicolette
Poetic Tasha
March 25

Edit | Reply

OMG Lea -bum how did you just write about something icky and creepy and make it sound almost beautiful, until you squashed it at least lol
i really enjoy your style of writing

much love
Tasha
Jaded Lily
March 25

Edit | Reply

ewwww, the only good spider in my book is a dead spider! Good poem and I loved how you set it up! Excellent piece that grabbed me with the title and held me with the rest. I like your style! Bravo!
Lily ♥
CrystalLizard
March 25

Edit | Reply

Splat
I enjoyed this—I can't stand spiders. I thought the spider was a woman at first, too, but I'm glad you threw me off. I like the visual structure of the poem too, with your indentations and italics.
Parearoo
March 25

Edit | Reply

Aweseom imagery!
The lines in this poem flow perfectly into each other; I like it.
The opening line made me think you were talking about a woman; to my surprise, you weren't. The last line really ties everything together; overall, an enjoyable read.
forbidden-colour
March 25

Edit | Reply

This made me laugh, I can't stand the little buggers either they drive me mad!

The lines;
"or drown her
in the same deep water
(as me),"

Provoke powerful images, you've used some beautiful metaphor.

Great! Thank you for sharing,

Regards,

suseann
March 25

Edit | Reply

What....spider envy? Ha! Everything has a reason and for everyone there is a season. However....spiders creep me out so it's fine by me. Oh...and also by the insects who live because that spider perished I guess. All joking aside. I get and appreciate your metaphor.

Red Rocket
March 25

Edit | Reply

I thought this was genius and so miserably hateful lol! It's all good though, we all have those days when the grass seems greener, better, easier for someone else; even an insect. I just have to bookmark this as it was so candid and worthy of sharing with some similarly emotional people. Thanks for being clever in the delivery and approach, great work here.