You used to be so happy and I miss your smiles,
just to see it again I would walk a thousand miles.
When there was a person that brought in a sad draft,
you could brighten the room with your bubbly laugh.
Your smile has been missing for a long time without action;
the things you used to love don't get the same reaction.
I'm starting to worry, but I don't know what I can do
to bring out that beautiful smile that is long overdue.
So I sit with you in the corner as you cry for a while;
baby, I love you; won't you please, please smile?
Author notes
At the sophomore retreat [[at school]] we have this game where we all sit in a circle and the person in the middle walks around to someone and says "Baby, I love you; won't you please, please smile?" and they can do anything they want to try and get the person they are asking to smile. if the person being asked actually smiles, they have to go in the middle.
there are so many people who see other people who are depressed. this actually happened to my friend [[i changed up some words and stuff]], but it makes me smile that some people actually care about others' feelings.
A contest entry
- Do the best you can! by sunsunny3235.
525 points, ended March 25, 18 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What makes you smile? by Tqop.
700 points, ended April 10, 47 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites Contest by tears.of.silence.
1000 points, ended April 18, 407 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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very well done. i liked this a lot. Had a great rhyme to it and didn't seem forced at all. I give this one a 30 in wow points. SO you have 62 points. Excellent work. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you. Kahy
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Very nice I like that game you play to get some one to smile. This is nicely done good luck in the contest. It was a pleasure to read.
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This sounds brilliant. It's amazing. It's effortless. You took a brilliant school assignment, but it into poetry. I love it. A thousand claps.
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awe I have felt the same way as a dad. just another awesome job girl I truly love you way with words. AP DAD
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I like your poem, but I want you to slightly and barely change the rhyme in lines 7 and 8. I love your bravery to have a rhyme every line with the on above. Thank you for entering my contest.
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thanks. but what do you mean change the rhyme?
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