The echo of soulless whispers surround my garden,
I hear them quite clear
through the webs of unkept promises.
They speak of pain and heartache
and of a life that's long forgotten,
they urge me to go deeper into the dark.
The tip tap...tip tap of
calm waters
beyond the green,
calls me forth into the chaotic forest of lust.
Amongst the beautiful roses,
the thorns prickle my flesh,
moving just enough to grab me..
I am embedded into
the labyrinth of never ending twists and turns,
my soul wanders the spirals of stormy waters.
But once upon a time,
the wings were ripped from my crooked spine..
And as I lay awake and dream,
I still pretend that I can fly.
Crimson skies above call upon the weak,
every drop of wasted tears turns to crystal amber sun.
In the darkened meadow,
Pan awaits my arrival,
once you eat the forbidden fruit you can never leave.
The pixies dance in rhythmic tune,
the nymphs bow to the mercury moon.
In my labyrinth of long lost treasures,
I am the guest of honour.
So if you will,
swoon me into madness,
take my hand
and wander into
the green abyss.
Author notes
AP username - C A T A C O M B
A contest entry
- Let the Darkness Come by MichaelLeeSmyth.
700 points, ended April 7, 47 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Assisted Self-Harm (picture, song, and idea prompts) by LovelyTraces.
2100 points, ended June 13, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A Prewrite Contest for `Two Prime Groups` by The.poet.of.hearts.
1010 points, ended July 24, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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55 for Write
19 for title
Great Write.
nicely penned, wish you luck
anyway
thanks for entering
Out of 100 You have Achieved 74
by
the poet of hearts and beautiful words
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Compared to your other one (Alone in the Dark), this one didn't stand out very far to me. Nothing was wrong with it, in fact, it was very good. Your descriptions and thoughts were wonderful, and everything flowed very nicely. I'm just more fond of Alone in the Dark. Thanks for entering this, and I loved the idea of the labyrinth! Good job!
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You've written some really beautiful imagery here. It's obvious you put alot of thought and work into this. Best wishes and thank you for entering.
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this is natural darkness! i love it.painted a hell of green in my head though. =] (hells nice lol)
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Once again, a vision I had not considered. On sheer strength or perhaps depth of this write, I will add it to those who "made" it.
A couple of issues that may help it to become a stronger, deeper write.
"webs of unkept promises", perhaps instead of woven. life instead of love-broadens the scope and intent. Break it into proper stanzas, try it, The silences within the storm can be some of the most powerful moments.
Mnay people think of a labyrnth as a type of maze-in ancient Pagan tradition- this is untrue. Once you enter a labyrinth, to leave, you simply have to find the force of will to do so, turn around. The subject seems to have retreated into the labyrinth for protection. The elemental spirits of the Mother awaiting her arrival. I wonder if the narrator will find the strength within the warmth of the Mother to gather themselves up to journey back out of the labyrinth to push back the darkness.
really liked this,
good luck in the contest
Peace
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Wow, this was really good. I mean, this poem reminded me of how i first felt most of the time when i was younger and actually a year ago. Full of sorry, distrust, it just, reminds me of things i been through as well. your words are very well organized and the description of the places. the darkness is so easy to enter, but near impossible to exit. Good job.
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