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My Poem is Like a Red Red Apple

The fruit of poetry can be lovely—
words shine on its surface
reflecting scarlet promise, juicy and inviting
similes and metaphors wax its skin lyrical
rhythmical cadence polishes its planes

—Come, take a bite—

Strip off the fancy words
peel away the gloss
sink your teeth into
the meat of the meaning

Chew the heart,
find the soul,
feel the emotion
dripping
down your chin,
taste the beauty
or the bitterness
in the bared white flesh

Savor the images
ripe with emotion
with memories
with hopes
with fears

And if, when you
pare down the poem
to its very core
a kernel of Truth remains,
then the poem
[suc] seeds

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • individuality gold member
    March 26

    Edit | Reply
    The fruit of poetry can be lovely—

    i love the first line's optimism - those succulent scents that glide down the senses. a good opening line.


    words shine on its surface
    reflecting scarlet promise, juicy and inviting
    similes and metaphors wax its skin lyrical
    rhythmical cadence polishes its planes

    colour again, or was it just me thinking colour! juice, yes. ah metaphors, i live in those fields.

    ha okay i will not go mad it is a good poem full of pips and juice


    ask me to critu=que a peom of yours when i am sober and i will happily do so


  • individuality gold member
    March 26
    Edit | Reply
    i will smile her and give you a critique hold on to the sides

  • this is really really clever, a really delicious read, seriously, you have huge talent
    thanks for sharing


  • TabbyCat
    March 24

    Edit | Reply
    This is GREAT. I love extended metaphor. I really really do. Every time I read a poem like this I just adore and admire the talent it shows. You have definitely inspired me to try something like this.

    There were so many original, creative lines.
    "feel the emotion
    dripping
    down your chin,
    taste the beauty
    or the bitterness
    in the bared white flesh"

    possibly some of the best...so sensual and perfectly fittting to the subject. Layers of meaning...

    Of course, the ending was marvelous. I loved the little formatting quirks as well. NICE!


    • CrystalLizard
      March 25
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks so much for the comments! I'd love to see what you come up with...

      --Sarah--


  • shiratikva
    March 24

    Edit | Reply
    I liked what you write about poetry. I liked your comparison of it to the different things
    Great poem!

1 - 7 of 7