She comes to him scholastic and cancerous,
like sugarplums found lurking
in dark corners of the mind.
He, ignorant to her agenda, her annals,
her brackish tongue.
He is lured.
Her eyes reeling,
fingers combing.
Zephyrs shield her dappled cheeks.
They become nighttime sparrows,
oft-synching, rarely heeding.
Assaulted by desolation,
expectation,
adulation.
But he hops from Jupiter to Saturn
with ambition
and insight.
He dances athwart her nerves
only to claim her,
to calm her.
Daybreak means he’ll
till her through flora and orchard,
and loam and worms.
He’ll sap the sanity she found
in bones
undulated by swamp winds.
They lay to rest in their contradictions.
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
Very intriguing, great imagery, strong finish. I liked this very much, read over several times savoring it. Very good.
-
Yes indeed
-
yes
-
I like your use of imagery. "her brackish tongue" really speaks volumes here. I guess a lot of us have this problem at times.
Brackish water stinks and is poisonous ... as a tongue can be. -
oh my, yes you do have a way with your words don't you. Very intriguing combinations. I love the strong ending. Nice write, I got a little confused sometimes in the middles as to what was actually going on, but that's alright, it's like art work, I can appreciate it without completely understanding it. Good work.
-
Wow, very powerful imagery and tone. It left me very intrigued by the relationship of these two. Made me want to read it more than just once. Great structure and wording, worked well to the poem's purpose.
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
