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Human Nature

"Every one likes to go to Heaven,
But no one likes to die"
Crazy to know the taste of death,
But no one is ready to try,

"Every one wants happiness,
And no one needs pain";
But it’s impossible to get a rainbow,
Without a little rain,

Like to go up and up,
As going to touch the sky,
No one likes to be on the
Earth; old, sad and dry,

Please your critical suggetion and comments.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 13 of 13
  • mystyry
    October 11
    Edit | Reply
    great great poem!


  • Shady Light
    June 23
    Edit | Reply
    this is very nice!
    i loved it


  • Ovarb
    May 27
    Edit | Reply
    this was a very nice poem. i love the second stanza especially.


  • smonte19124 gold member
    April 20

    Edit | Reply
    Great Write! I enjoyed and agree with the sentiments expressed so eloquently. The first two lines in the first stanza says it all.
    "Every one likes to go to Heaven,
    But no one likes to die"
    Thank you for the enjoyment of this read and for stopping by and making your presence known. God Bless, Jo-Ann


  • Stormi Dae
    April 18
    Edit | Reply
    I like this, interesting concept.


  • Fox.
    April 15
    Edit | Reply
    Very cool bro. enjoyed it.


  • Lonely
    April 14

    Edit | Reply
    This piece of poetry gives me a lot to ponder upon.. However, I think, rain is a big blessing, but maybe that is because i love the rain! Beautiful thoughts penned here, with a very nice flow and rhyme! Keep writing Hamid..

    Peace,
    Lonely


  • Yah-rod
    April 14

    Edit | Reply
    Very thoughtful as always. I like the third stanza the most even if it's a little different from the others. It has a touch of sadness, and left me feeling a little lonely.
    Your structure is nice - especially in first two stanzas which roll off the tongue. In between are some nice images and feelings..happiness and pain together in a little sunshower...

    I loved the ending for its irony. The lines "Like to go up...No one like to be on the Earth..." raise our hopes for something inspirational, but when we read the last line we realise it's already passed like a little rainbow in the earlier stanzas...

    My only criticism is the comma at end of second-last line..it isn't needed and breaks the flow... and "no one like" should be "no one likes".

    Otherwise a very enjoyable piece. Keep writing.

    Jared

  • MIND BLOWING

    Its a great piece of work to read and very true said.


  • Floorboards
    April 10

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked, "But it's impossible to get a rainbow, without a little rain" great stuff. In line five, should "ever one" be "every one"? Anyway, I enjoyed this, good ending too.

    Kind regards.

    Floorboards.


    • hamid
      April 14

      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for your comments and correection its corrected, i expect the same from you in future.
      Ali


  • hamid
    March 26
    Edit | Reply
    The first two lines of 1st and 2nd stanza are borrowed from two famous quations, else is my own creation.

1 - 13 of 13