Self Serve Slavery

I.. I'm not gonna try today
I.. I just want to get by today
I.. I don't want to be here today
I.. I just want to disappear today

And I am on my way of bringing to pass what I think I should lack
And I.. I want to feel estranged so I don't have to change
Because I think faking is real
I only trust what I feel in my deceiving heart

I.. I'm saving up for the day when I can blow them away with what I know
I.. I think that knowing the truth has no heart, has no use
If I can keep it in my head I don't have to take it in my hands
I don't want to flow & I can't go
Because I am nothing, nothing
I keep walking in sin and I cannot repent
I am nothing, simply nothing
When I break the law I fade more than fall

And I am on my way of bringing to pass what I think I should lack
And I'm afraid of being new
I can't keep from showing how I am barely knowing
And no one will point it out to me
Because this land where I stand has its heart wrapped in man
Yeah this place where I live leaves me only a kid
And I fight and I pray for this list of things that I can never keep
Because this list is my lord

Where is the love in this story?
Where is the faith? Where is the purity I seek?
I cannot find it in this seat
They do not come from these laws I can't keep
Where is the life? Where is the change?
Where is the God they say created everything?
God please find me
I don't want to live a way that claims grace and then throws it away
When loving you is all that's real I won't fade away or live like you aren't real
Because when you show that is when I really know
And it's not just some thing it is the life and love you bring
You are my hope and my strength
And I am not afraid because what you command can only be done by your perfect hand

I.. I'm not gonna fear today
I.. I just want to draw near today
And I.. I want to be swept away by your love and grace
Now I know that you are life and the only light that lights the way that is you