I sat near the fireplace ,
dressed in reckoning and sincerity.
Obligated, to an audacity
of madness.
Where in my hands, I held
and I witnessed
the brittle marbles of thought,
the contradictions of verve,
and the many lifeforms of despair ..
And yet,
though shamelessly with fingers vague, I struck
at the indistinctable nature,
that lay between my palms,
uneasy and forbidden
I promptly gave away my probing deed.
For when I struck,
I came about a glaring feel of doom,
that which with fear in eyes and paws,
be settled in my room
It gnawed at me, and vexed and fret
and by the stomping sound of all things shed,
had said :
" If by this folly's wake, thy wisdom sought
or mayhap by some senseless lusting dream .. "
and gravely contemplated ..
"Be thrown ye then, in worlds of mirrors cursed
in worlds where sin, has facets to its name .. "
By then the crimson pain had plagued my mind,
in myriad moments of unshaped torment
But silence came, and when it came
I found myself apart from where
the warmth of life had once beset
upon my tired face ..
A contest entry
- would somebody just, f*cking write? by Rob..
1200 points, ended April 4, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Take your time, and comment honestly please
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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i loved it,it was expressed really well!
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a good poem but i am sorry to say half way through reading i became bored. i just lost interst in what you were saying.
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Excellent
A very fine write, indeed, for you have expressed your thoughts quite well. Thanks for sharing this one with us. Again, very well written. -
Humm..very thoughtful description and very curious development you made around the words...though a strong impact with..love it..well done...and many thanks for sharing..
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I love the chosen language, it lends to the "ancient" aspect of seeming hidden knowledge...tempting and mirrored..unsearchable. This speaks to me of the foreboding...the fire. The topic (Fantasy) somehow, made me chuckle. I guess because the truth of that very nature is telling in so many ways along the lines of {FANTASY: 1. The creative imagination; unrestrained fancy.} That speaks profoundly to me of "the knowledge of good and evil." Not to get too far into that. But back to your descriptions...the marbles, I have never seen a combination of style like yours in writing before! You are so unique in how you can combine the modern language in such a multifaceted way with the archaic languages! I love it! You draw me into such a puzzle of thoughts and words with meanings intrinsically intertwined with wisdom ( I almost want to say ...of the ages) but then I sound so arrogant don't I?
The torment takes on a persona, an origin, which leads me to this...
Our words are our thoughts expressed.
Our thoughts are our being.
Our being is beyond our own determination,
outside of divine intervention.
Well, you know...just carrying on a little. ha ha.
Your poem got me going!
I absolutely love to read your work!
I love the mental challenges you create in my mind! I think my mind is like a steel trap! lol
Great read EveRaven!
Thank you!
Brava!
Annette
PS
I'm really not sure of what you'll think of all this rambling!
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I'm delighted every time you visit :)
And such a lovely token you left here, it can as well stir my ever-lazy mind
Yours is a delightful entry ...
I'm in your debt dear poet
TC
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lots of great words! I love "indistinctable." and it's not often that "myriad" is used and doesn't sound superfluous...but it really fits here.
I also like how the emotions come alive and act separately from the person speaking. it makes the poem seem to have several characters that interact, instead of just one person thinking.
great poem!!
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Ah, a most ambitious and ardent self interrogation here... that unrivaled need to know one's own motivation, one's inner self, what makes us tick...
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Wow a very well put together write with lots of random and connected thoughts ...very much enjoyed the read dear poet
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"the brittle marbles of thought,"
Impressive penning, Poet...Intense imagery, prolific use of language...profound exhibition of deep thoughts unravelling across the parchment with a moan, an echo, a wild whisper of unrestrained creativity in the midst of a destructive, chaotic world...Bravo, my Friend...Good luck in the contest. 
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