Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

~Tangerine Tapestry

Her tangerine tapestry hung lower today in
the room that stood flooded in sunshine.
No clocks, only seasons were granted entry.
The ocean roared outside of the chalet without regret.
The amber fields traveled for miles before turning into a winding road.
The gold and green in their irises danced in the piercing sun.
Ambrosia wine sits chilled awaiting the pour.
She took her hand and smiled. Wryly.
An antique mantle hovered over an unlit fireplace. They spoke softly of a campfire on the beach this evening. Their fingertips met as they exchanged fingerprints. They shuddered in sync and each grabbed for the pack of cigarette papers. They broke out laughing hysterically. They kissed just once more, then stepped out onto the balcony facing the open sea.

Author notes

I just did the same thing. I was listening to Bob Seger's "Feel Like a Number" and I remember thinking that he made reference to the ocean and the sea in the same breath. Here's an excerpt of the song in reference:

"Gonna cruise out of this city
Head down to the sea
Gonna shout out at the ocean
Hey its me..."

Attn: These 4 lines above
are Bob Seger's lyrics.

Prompts used:- tangerine

- cigarette

- papers

- irises (eye)

- antique

- fingerprints

- whispers

- campfire

- fields

- road

- seasons

- wine

- clocks

- ocean

- regret

& tapestry


A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 22 of 22

  • Minstrel-Morose
    April 3
    Edit | Reply
    HAH still no comments till judgement >_-


  • Gunther gold member
    March 29

    Edit | Reply
    A tapestry to hang on the wall. "No clocks, only seasons were granted" , wouldn't that be great?
    There are too many demands on our time these days to enjoy the truly beautiful things around us, both physical and spiritual. Bob would be proud!

    • redbarchettadrive gold member
      April 1
      Edit | Reply
      I so agree with your statement about not having enough time Gunther!
      I'd like to just sit here and write all day, but NOOOO! I have to work...
      I'll be back.
      Thanks for the reply.


  • Blushfulmoon silver member
    March 24

    Edit | Reply

    excellent~

    I like how you used all the words together like this
    Best of luck in the contest and nice to meet you as well
    I entered this one too....hope you come give my poem a read as well
    Susan~~~


  • trekkergirl
    March 23
    Edit | Reply
    very interesting color you used here. I don't believe I have seen a color quite like this one used before. Good decent write that you have here. I don't care for Bob seger though so I didn't know anything about the song you brought up. Thanks for sharing this with us though.


  • quantumsurveyor
    March 22

    Edit | Reply
    I like this a lot it creates such a wonderful picture and, for me, it is charged with eroticism .
    A thought:
    "They shuddered at the same time and each grabbed for the pack of cigarette papers at the same time. They broke out laughing hysterically. They kissed just one more time,"

    there seems to be a multiplicity of "time" here; the repetition weakens the content I suggest.


  • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
    March 22

    Edit | Reply
    This is truly a great prosey tapestry thingy.

    Thanks for sharing.


  • maralisa silver member
    March 22

    Edit | Reply
    a nice write your imagery and depth throughout is wonderful good luck in the contestmaralisa


  • Random Goldfish gold member
    March 22

    Edit | Reply
    Hmmm, can a poem smell good? (Minus the cigarettes), haha. It smells like the colour orange! HAHA!

    I love the imagery in this and that it told a story. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.

    Síochán leat
    ~Mairéad~


  • malmadre gold member
    March 22

    Edit | Reply
    Very imaginative! I think you wove a great tapestry of word prompts.


  • Carolina Moon gold member
    March 22

    Edit | Reply
    Simply gorgeous imagery. Loved the story and wanted more! I wish you the best of luck!

    • redbarchettadrive gold member
      March 22
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Carolina Moon! Your screen name reminds me of The Charlie Daniel's Band album with The Devil Went Down to Georgia on it called Carolina Dreams.
      Thanks again so much!


  • landmark
    March 22

    Edit | Reply
    beautiful imagery, and i like how it tells a story too.

    props for using more than one word too! you were only required to use one, but i like how you fit many of them all together.
    thank you for entering!

1 - 22 of 22