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Cold Hearted Murder

I lay there,
In a puddle of my own blood,
Trying to breathe,
You look at me-
I see no regret!

You came at me,
Knife in hand,
Slowing, bringing it down on me,
Red, sticky blood,
Flowing out of me in every place,

My pulse is in my ears,
My life in your hands,
Yet I know it will be broken,

My vision blurs,
The last thing I see-
My soul,
Leaving me all alone!

No one will report me missing,
You were the only one I had,
I made you my everything,
But you dropped me like a hot pan,

Even if someone reports me missing,
It will take them days to find me,
You hid me so well.
Getting rid of evidence,
Was a piece of cake for you.

But really what was your motive?

Author notes

This is for a contest.....I really do not know any one who would kill me and i wouldn't make a guy my life and i had a little help from the "My pulse is in my ears" part to the "Leaving me all alone!" part my friend gave me

A contest entry

Is it a good murder poem?

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Corncorn
    March 28
    Edit | Reply
    I love this one


  • LadyDementia gold member
    March 27

    Edit | Reply
    This is a different take to what I normally read. I did enjoy the alternate POV, found it refreshing. You did well creating imagery that leaves a cold chill after reading. Only bit I wasn't keen on was 'no-one will report me missing' to 'even if someone did report me missing' Kinda spoiled what you had going on wording it like that, like an after thought which to me doesn't go with the rest... Just MO tho Neat read otherwise. Thanks for entering and good luck


  • Nymphetemine
    March 25
    Edit | Reply
    Wow blew me away.. Wonderful poem dear poet.
    Blessing Lady of Avalon


  • Ktulu Blackwolfe silver member
    March 24

    Edit | Reply
    This is the first time I have ever read a poem told from the victims POV....truely tragic and a great read, also, loved the last line..almost a sense of dying humor? lol

    **Ktulu Blackwolfe**


  • BrokenHeartsInVain
    March 21
    Edit | Reply
    It's a pretty good poem. I could imagine the blood starting to dry, as he comes for you with a knife. I actually know a song that relates to this, ''Until Tomorrow'' by Greeley Estates. Anyway, back on topic. I did find a few typos, so you might want to consider revising those. Other than that it was great.
    Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest. ♥

1 - 6 of 6