A heart that has been chewed on from life.
At the core lies purity, innocence, warmth and rebirth.
It rots and decays the gentle actualization of happiness.
Like acid seeping through every ventricle, the burn turns to fury within.
Remnants of virginal love reside in the aorta.
Every chamber has bite marks of the insidious appetites of people.
The liquid feedback from society pumps vigorously in my veins.
Oxygenated self destruction courses through my clogged arteries.
With every gasp, I inhale the smoky residue of mental abuse.
Confusion muddles the corpuscles, from lack of exercise of self worth.
It inhibits recovery to bake in the glory of the recipe of life.
An x-ray would show such decay.
Carcinogens from the norms of society,
pierce the flesh of my fruit.
A transplant would be the only option
to cleanse my soul from all the cholesterol of the world.
I would prefer a rotten apple in my chest,
for at least in the middle there is a seed,
that I may replant
to start anew.
- Night Terrors group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Poems of the Heart Contest by bachelorette.
700 points, ended March 25, 14 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything W/ Emotion by Violent Glass.
700 points, ended May 4, 78 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Help me reach my 2000 comment By entering your poetry by Night Terrors.
400 points, ended May 11, 251 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - D - A - R - K by skilter.
877 points, ended September 13, 101 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Another prewrite contest by Ami.
525 points, ended September 2, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The best you got! by izzy1804.
725 points, ended September 7, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - This Contest Is About Nothing by Miss Macabre.
550 points, ended October 5, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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This was interesting, it caught my attention and I like the metaphor of it. Thanks for entering.
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Very interesting poem....Quite unique
good luck
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Wow this is interesting and very creative The title and the write great use of imaginary and metaphors
in this Amazing write
Thank you so much for entering my contest and Good luck
-♥Amy♥ -
wow, this is deep. thank you for entering!
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That is just plain amazing!!!! I have read many a poem of heart ache yet nothing like that as every crossed my path. I am adding this to the finalist list it is so brillant!
The Positives:
Wow were to start this had such brillant imagery that it is leaving me completly speechless and trust me that is damn near impossible.
Room For Improvement:
Nothing I can see you did wonderful
My Favorite Part:
With every gasp, I inhale the smoky residue of mental abuse.
Confusion muddles the corpuscles, from lack of exercise of self worth.
It inhibits recovery to bake in the glory of the recipe of life.
An x-ray would show such decay.
God You have the most brillant mind!!!
Overall:
I give this an 10/10 you did great. I hope to see you in my future contests thanks so much for entering.
~*~Apathetic Poison~*~ -
Wow... I loved this write
You portray your emotion well here.
I must say the third stanza, seeps with a
voice I know well.
Well done Blue
Thanks for the share
Darky
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Thanks for joining my second contest.
It paints quite a picture. I like the ending.
"I would prefer a rotten apple in my chest,
for at least in the middle there is a seed,
that I may replant
to start anew." -
ooo nicely done.. loving the 3rd stanza. you've made 2 points bringing your total to 61. great work. thanks for entering and best of luck. kahy.
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wow, i loved this! the wY you describe this is amazing, your very talented!
''Oxygenated self destruction courses through my clogged arteries.''
that was my favorite line and i loved the stanza after it!
great write, thanx for sharing it with me!
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I like this very much
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this has excellent imagery and the comparison of the apple and heart is fabulous. good job and good luck
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wow this piece was incredibibly deep and the words you used brought and even deeper meaning to this. Thanks for entering my contest.
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Thank you for entering this piece. It does fit right in with the contest, exactly.
Also, I love the metaphor. The entire poem is wonderful. I have no suggestions for improvement. Your words and imagery flow well together. The technicality is also enjoyable with words like: actualization, ventricle, oxygenated, corpuscles...
And not only is this piece is full of good, strong words and imagery, there's the meaning behind the words and images. The last stanza drastically changes the feelings of despair into ones of hope and pushing forward.
Brilliant job.
-K
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