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Unable...

Never thought these feeling would arise again,
Never thought I'd felt the need to hurt.
Never thought I'd still feel so ashamed,
So unsure of what to do next.

Unable to speak the words buried,
Unable to escape from these thoughts.
All I want is to sooth the pain,
To finally banish these memories.

Falling further away from you,
Unable to explain my emotions.
Can't understand why I want to bleed,
Why do I feel the need again?

Will I ever be free from the memories of you,
Of how you abused me, left me damaged.
Unable to runaway from this pain,
Left in a darkened state once again.

A gleaming razor starring at me,
Will i be able to stand strong?
Can I withstand your urges once again?
Can I continue to resist you?

Or will I feel the need to take you,
Clench you tightly and dig you in.
Allowing myself to feel once again,
Freeing myself if only for a moment.

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • XxToxicBeautyxX
    April 8
    Edit | Reply
    So sad...good write tho what's been going on with you? Stay strong missy!!!


  • Butterfly.Wingz
    April 3

    Edit | Reply
    dude, don't do it it's not worth it! but this poem was sad reminds me alot of the old shit you used to write i always did like your write gurl. keep fighting!


  • SmokinHotWhiteTiger
    March 24

    Edit | Reply
    My sweet friend it saddens me to see you strugglin with cutting again. I may not know you as well as I would have once liked too but deep down I still truly care about you Chrissy and I don't like to see you hurting and struggling with this. you been through this and you'll figuire a way out of it again. I truly think you are stronger than you are letting on. I do feel in my opinion that writing about it helps you alot and cope with your struggles. we all have inner demons that take ahold of us and make us do things we don't want to do. sadly yours are nightmares that become a reality because you feel hopele4ss abandoned and lonely edt. my suggestion is to fight the demon within you remind yourself that you are in control of your life your actions ect. and remind yourself that you have people who truly do give a care about you. stay strong Chrissy and never forget that you have people who do give a damn about you any ways keep on writing and hopefully this will help you. Signed, Paul


  • higherlove
    March 23

    Edit | Reply
    very good job, i know exactly what you are going through, im actually dealing with all this rite now.


  • Condemd RyeZing
    March 21
    Edit | Reply
    Amazing write. Absolutely love it. I understand completely... Great Job!

1 - 5 of 5