Today I saw the bruise.
Smudged over the bulging blue vein on my arm, brown and unwelcome.
It must have been left after giving blood on Tuesday.
I was reminded of us. I am not sure why. Or how.
Funny
How the mind works.
'Well, if it's so funny', says body to mind
'why aren't you laughing?'
Author notes
PROMPT: Unaided
A contest entry
- Pick a word - Write a poem in 10 LINES or Less (U) by The Fun House.
1050 points, ended April 17, 28 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
-
Hey, congrats Id! Interesting that you got away with not using the U-word in either the title or the body of the poem. I guess I never would of thought of not putting it in there somewhere! LOL, too funny how we all learn from eachother!
-
-
Yeah, to be honest I made a mistake with my prompt word, but then I was kindly told to use one, as you can see below.
I pride myself on lacking focus.
I am surprised to see you without a shiny- you entry was very good!
And TBH, I am surprised I got silver out of 36 entries! 
But extremely honoured.
-
-
I read this over and couple times and each time it has impacted it me well. A very good and provoking piece of poetry.
-
-
Very flattered to hear this has some longevity for you.
Thank you!
Id X
-
-
"It must have been left after giving blood on Tuesday.
I was reminded of us. I am not sure why. Or how."
these lines leave open the possibilities of it all, what a great take on the prompt. it says so much, but in a different way. very nice write.
-
-
Thanks!
I do like to write the odd open ended line every now and again.
Some say they find the endings of some of my stuff too open, which leaves them unsatisfied. I have changed them in the past, but from now on I am just going to leave and tell them that those endings are a reflection of the way life always seems to turn out.
Glad you are in favour of my open ideas though, my friend! :hugs:
Id X -
-
THANK YOU. that's exactly how i feel. sometimes when we write we don't have a definite view, we're a little "confused" in our mind. i think that leaving an open view to be great, it should leave the reader to open possibilites. all people are different so they should appreciate an open line or 2. they can take it to where they want to. NEVER let people tell you how to think on YOUR personal thoughts and feelings. i'm so glad that someone feels they way i do. it makes me happy to know that i'm not "bad" or crazy, well not too much.
-
-
Agreed. I used to be really open to other's criticism after a guy called leander (on AP) made me realise the benfits of such criticism. I actually used to ask people to tell me what they DIDN'T like about my stuff, haha... Seriously!
But now I back to being stuck in my old ways- you're right though, there is no substitute for integrity!
You and share a lot of beliefs on a variety of things. I think this might just be the beginning of something beautiful. ^^
Much love,
Id X -
-
glad to see that i'm not stuck on an island with my thinking.
-
-
-
-
-
The prompt word has to be seven letters long for the contest, dude. Sucks, because this is a great poem. Maybe find a seven-letter U-word that fits somehow, even abstractly?
-
-
Hi,
Changed the prompt to 'unaided'.
Hope this is fine now!
-
-
Much better. It's not my contest or anything, though, I just happened to notice.
-
-
-
Well, that's interesting. I too bruise easily.
Obviously a bad sign that you were reminded of this other person.
Enjoyed your write.
-
-
Why, thankee kindly sir! Glad I could be of service.
-
-
I am sorry I had to dig you out inspite of the anonymity of the contest. I love the strong sense of sarcasm in this. Lovely work.
-
-
Not at all! If it means you taking a look at more of my stuff, I am nothing but flattered.
I am afraid Aliatoric... is my most raw, coarse piece, so if you are looking for more of the same, you're not likely to find it. However, each of my bits and pieces is pretty different from the last, so I hope you'll find more of interest.
Thanks for stopping by!
Id X
-
-
a good piece, what i picked up on here going from the prompt was the relationship was like giving blood - easy perhaps but it left a mark on the soul.
thanks for your visits to my poems earlier while i was tucked up in dreams, appreciated.
-
-
Yeah, this is one of those poems in which I try to say one thing with another, um, thing. Thanks for picking up on that. Leaving a mark on the soul is a very interesting idea, thanks very much for that contribution! ^^
Now worries about my comments- it was my pleasure, thanks for sharing!
Id X
-
-
Hmmm
It sure makes one ponder..
Where exactly did you get that bruise?
Sure it says something about giving blood but then again it says it reminds one of "us"
So this paints a picture of "HOW" and "Where"
very intriguing.
Nice job!
-Mandi
-
-
Very glad that you are pondering this and finding it intriguing.
Thanks for stopping by!
-
-
Nice. Intriguing and interesting! Good luck!
-
-
Thanks for stoping by my friend! X
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 22 of 22
