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paperless poetry in the diary of a daydreamer

In your dreams I travel wide
to places only you can find
atlantic waves and mermaids too
I'll hang here while I wait for you

I see you go on many trips
on butterflies with lots of flips
island ships with copper tails
take me with you, set your sails


off in the distance,
lightning breaks
the channels are lonely
I'll have to wait

Author notes

This is either finished without the last part (in which case I'll delete it later) or it's just not finished yet. Like everything else I write...

Please tell me what you think ** This is not yet finished

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • JinSays gold member
    April 2
    Edit | Reply
    I like this take on the prompt, and I wish you all the best.
    Love,
    jin


  • kirbysman Moderators member
    March 23

    Edit | Reply

    Ohhh

    You know I read this and told you I loved it as much as anything you've done, but I never put that here. So, I'm correcting it now!. I hope you'll keep working a little and get a little more done because this one is really neat. Keep going!!!

    and
    Grampa


  • NeptunesMight
    March 23
    Edit | Reply
    p.s. that title is rockin!

  • NeptunesMight
    March 23

    Edit | Reply
    i really love it alot actualy BUT theirs this one thing at the end "roads" you kept a beachy/oceany theme to it maybe change that word to "channels" just a suggestion