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Death be upon us

It didn't want me to be born.
But I took my first breath,

and it has been haunting me ever since

It mounts like a horse galloping into war!!!
It's feels like sweet revenge when I wake
But he knows that I can't struggle forever.
"Time and unforeseen occurrence's befalls us"
So he waits until I struggle more...no more

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Desert Poet
    October 1

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    Very Good and very True

    Very pointed and true dealing with the logic of life's flow. Nice write and nice read. True for us all, should they reflect upon the context.
    Russ


  • duana
    July 31
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    Hose- this is you at your absolute best! You are brilliant! There is nothing else I can say about this poem- it is very very well written. This is one you should send off to a publisher. I am not sure what- but maybe if you ask God he will send the right opportunity your way. I think it is a profound poem that can teach young people a very important observation and lesson about life.

  • duana
    May 29
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    Hose30- your genius has emerged!

    I know I commented on this already but really I couldn't help doing it again- THIS IS the Hose30 I saw upon the very first day of reading your poetry- I needed no evidence- I could see the seeds planted in you. I would say you are on the verge of yet even another stage. You should start reading all the poetry you can of the classic writers and analyze them to death and learn every form style you can and start merging them with your free style writes- you have so much in you to look forward to in the future.

    PS on another note- I hope you are not writing this from your own being- if so you are scaring me!

    • hose30
      May 31
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      Duanna I am glad to hear from you!!!I am glad you commented on my work.because it means alot.I dont know if Im a genius. I am just trying to catch to you.You have a brillant thought process and tender writes. but thank for all the support that have given.


  • z etoile
    April 4

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    Wow! Great poem... Hope you are doing well.
    Sometimes darkness just shines in our poems.
    Great write keep writing.


  • raw love
    March 22

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    hhhhhmmmm, it almost feels like echos of the poem I just wrote.

    there is always hope.
    never forget!

  • duana
    March 21

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    Very well done- very powerful. This flows perfectly and I especially love the imagry - the mounting of the horse going to war quickens the pace of the poem and creates more anticipation for what will come next. The poem is vague so it feels like it has been taken out of a much longer story that you have pulled from your head. It is very well written.

    You will always be in God's hands!

    Duana

1 - 7 of 7