I enter with all ease and might
Stationed near a worthy site
Pouring hate, covering ground
Liquid hope, my grades have drowned
Framed paper loads the walls away
Near ropes locking the sorrows of day
And colors astound the likes of me
And trap my now searching degree
Mix and match, the area defined
Your target now close, the paper designed
Paint brushes attack the sheet so plain
No way to argue, hate or complain
At the end we look and glare
"The painting is mine" i declare
Pencils sharpened and in the pot
Off home we finally trot
Where am i
Can you guess?
Where have i gained the key to success?
Author notes
This was for my english coursework
hope i get an A
A contest entry
- round one; your best prewrite. by August Starlight.
765 points, ended March 21, 93 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I've never written a poem like this, but it's worth a try
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
i love this poem, unlike the other commentors i think that the ryhming is fine, its effective and its a poets prerogative to have a poem rhyme or not rhyme a certain way.
thank you. alex -
Nice write, though I do agree with the other commentors. I think a bit of editing could turn a solid poem into a great one.
-
-
Thanx alot
i appreciate your comments
-
-
your rythem in this poem seems off to me. perhaps you should chage something somewhere. but other than that its a really good poem.. good luck
-
If I were you, I'd fiddle this around so that each line has the same number of syllables. To me, inconsistent syllable counts are not very nice for a reader.
-
I never like 'i's that aren't capitalised.
It's a nicely done first attempt! There are some flaws that I could pick out, but I don't need to because it's very nice to read overall =] Good job.
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
