Autumn! Autumn! Why is it called the fall?
A season bursting forth with golden hues,
A quaint and quiet place of musty mues,
Of woolen skirts and torn and tattered shawls.
Her fields are shorn, the grain now fills the stalls
While dried leaves chaff, and stubble still refuse
To leave the barren fields but rather choose
To stay, as if their days of life recall.
But no, it is as though a fading dream
Dies slowly now, as if it could detain
This time of year when song birds take to flight,
When jewels of frost creep o'er my window pane
To blur my view of summer's fading reign
And herald the start of winter's length'ning night.
Author notes
I was intrigued by the different rhyming pattern of the Italian sonnet and this is my effort. Like to hear thoughts, criticisms and any other comments.
Written March 1st, 1994
In a list
A contest entry
- I love fall... by g r e y i s m.
300 points, ended October 17, 2004, 18 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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well done, poet. . .my only question is what is "dream" in L9 supposed to rhyme with? besides that. . .I was intrigued to read a Petrarchan sonnet -I've been experimenting with that as of late. . .nice work
♠ Lady Elinor -
You've definitely mastered sonnets.Executed this to perfection as well...even tho I'm not rly sure of wht iambic meter is...but I'm sure the iambic pentameter here is bang on target as well
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perfect sonnet
Lovely, lovely sonnet. You have the genre down to a fine art. Just confused about the word 'mues'. I can't find it in a dictionary. Did you mean 'mews'? (a cul-de-sac)? Or is it in a US dictionary? I use the UK one. -
This is a rhapsody, a quiet rhapsody... the sweetness of seasons' change.... you could read my 'Kiss of Changing Seasons'
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Hey..this was pretty neat..very vivid kaleidoscope of many pictures all happening at once with the last quarter of the year arrival, and keeping on 13 lines the 10 syllable structure, which adds definitely a rhythm to the write, it makes an effortless-like flow through the entire piece. Thank you for entering your poem in this contest.
Juan Pablo Anguas -
hehe...see my comment above
wonderful poem, thanks for entering.
~ lea -
Wow I never knew that Autumn was your favourite season, see you do learn something new everyday. I have always loved the winter and spring, I never used to like winter but I noticed that I don't stress as much during that season. I know weird hey. I think it must have something to do with my whole anxiety towards tornadoes, I freak out everytime we get a storm, and in winter there is none of that. hehe. I know I'm strange. But thats why you love me right? Anyway awesome poem, it was very beautiful. Italian Sonnet...thats a new one for me...but if you want my opinion you did an awesome job trying it out. Love ya lots
~Sara~ -
Very nicely done!
I like the rhyming pattern of the Italian sonnet...also, the flow. A pleasure to read! Congratulations!
Maureen
Edited on Apr 03, 8:23 p.m. because 'I forgot to say Congratulations!'.
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this is very good and descriptive. nice job
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Nice... Although in the middle it seemed--to me, at least--that you kind of seemed to, er...get off-topic a bit. BUT this was very descriptive, had a nice flow to it, along with rythym and ryhme sequence. Can't say too much about this... Good work...
Thanks for entering. -
Let me apologize - I missed your comment completely. Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I love the autumn too, just something about the color and crispness that makes you feel really alive. Thanks again. Paul
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can't relate to you on the football part but i think it must be beautiful in that area(i've never been!)
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Apologize for the weird words and spelling - must be something wrong with my keyboard. Not!
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Thanks for reading. Summers' hot, winter's cold, spring and fall are "nice". Flew into Vermont in October years ago - one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. And, there's football too! Paul
Edited on Mar 02, 11:49 p.m. because ''. -
don't see any problems here...i like it! i love fall(ahem) autumn, its my favorite season...its nice and cool and has color and crunchy leaves...and i love sweaters! yeah i'm weird i guess(at least in comparison to others i've talked to about it.)
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Didn't see the 3 and's - I'll work on that. Italian sonnet just has an "abba abba cde dde" rhyme pattern, a little different. I found it in a book and decided to try. I also have something for the other 3 seasons I'll post soon. Thanks
Paul -
I don't know a lot about the Italian Sonnet yet but as far as I can tell you did very well. I do see one line that has a problem:
"And woolen skirts and torn and tattered shawls." You used "and" three times here. I know you need the syllables but and is a bit repetitive here.
Good piece though.
M/Gat -
This is a neat poem, I feel the same way about autumn, it's my favorite season. I loved the rhyming and your use of imagrey, it really put be back in the season. Great write!
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