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Fashionista

She lead me to conclusions
To that place deep in her soul
Where her silhoutte entices me

To lose total control

 

Her words are honeyed phrases

That tease me to the point

Where her lips caress so softly

With her oils she does annoint

 

I am captured by her beauty

That shadows every whim

As she lays her magic on me

And I surrender everything

 

She is an inspiration to me

Far more than any picture book

She can bring me to the very edge

With just one of her come hither looks

 

She takes me to those places

As only a woman truly can

And I am just a play thing

Just soft putty in her hands

Author notes

inspired by morena. by *markdaughn

"Don't die live life"
AN name d s t r e e t p o e t

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

  • 63

    Title: 3/5
    Originality: 4/5
    Emotion: 5/5
    Grammar/Spelling: 5/5
    Flow/Structure: 5/5
    Imagery: 4/5
    Metaphor: 7/10
    Memorable:7/10
    Background: 6/10
    Overall Use of Poetic Devices: 9/10
    Rules: 10/10
    Overall: 8/10
    Total: 63/100

    This was pretty good. I think with more metaphor this would be outstanding. I don't think the background really goes with this piece though, it's kind of just like... you put it there. I did like the emotion in this, and how well this flowed. The rhyme was really good as well. Great job on this piece and good luck in the contest.

    Josh


  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    April 3

    Edit | Reply
    This made me smile, sensual but playful at the same time, well done with some great imagery. Best to you in the contest

  • just a lovely piece you penned here.

    Good luck in the contest

    Passions