Taking hold of the cosmic
cusp of the ninth
circle of chaos,
as so many do, to celebrate
the death of the day
I suddenly find myself a sprinter
lunging across the classroom
to delve into the depths
of the blackboard.
Breaking the film of remnant chalk
and into the subconscious of the unconscious
offers glimpse of no subtle fugue
as I slap fragments of silver chalk together
to peel back atoms
and release hidden chakras
of once-melded orange and blue
scions of emotion
in the outline shapes of crocodiles.
I feed them words,
none of which I can hear myself,
and they retaliate with dharmic scriptures
under a full moon
that three times strikes resonance
in imbalanced synapses
never ending;
never firing,
but always burning
in righteous wildfires reincarnated
in moody night.
All at once the crocodiles turn
leaving me no option but to follow
as they and their sea of teeth spearhead
global resurrection,
smearing a newfound karmic yoga
like a title wave of shooting stars.
I can only hope that we tread so fast
I am caught from behind
and have my own cross too
set aflame
releasing ego
from a soul once lost.
A much preferred form
of waking…
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Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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I am speechless. Wow, the visuals are absolutely striking and I love the sense of movement, especially here: "lunging across the classroom
to delve into the depths
of the blackboard."
It's almost like watching one of those short surrealist films. Clappy hands for you.
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I see there is some great competition in titles are us...
Wow...you blew me away from my screen with this...
Be back later
Jeannette
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holy cow! your use of imagery and your extensive vocabulary just blew me away!!!
an amazing write with multiple allusions to the indian culture, it inspired beautiful paintings by that of the imagination, and your flow was fairly fantastic. the only issue: at points it became slightly hard to follow, and i don't exactly consider myself to be unintelligent. it would be hard for a person with a grasp of only the general vernacular to understand, but the underlying message was still visible you did a fabulous job, and i've never quite come across someone who writes like this, and i am pleased to have done so!
great job, and good luck in the competition!
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Pretty incredible write you have here. Imagination and imagery are laced throughout your piece. My visual mind could see what your words painted very clearly. Love it!
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You have an interesting selection of metaphors and surreal imagery that create a rather mysterious piece around your title. I feel you try too hard to be incomprehensible at points but most of your poem reads meaningfully. I really like some of the choise of words with the fourth stanza being my favourite part as it shows great creativity.
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Hey, awesome piece you have here! I loved it, and I loved the title as well which I just had to click on because it sounded so interesting! This poem flowed very well, and the words and descriptions were great. They kept my attention the entire time and had me picturing what you wrote all in my head as I read. I love when poems do that! I really liked the last stanza as well. Anyways, nice job with this, I enjoyed reading it and thanks for sharing!
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I think I like your title better than the tired old quote... don't know how the title fits into the piece here, even after reading, but I had to click, having written a piece titled "God of Orange"... you've constructed a creative abstract stream peppered with vogue mystical notions, let's see if I understand it all: One's chakra's dharma karmic resonance is playing a yogatic subtle fugue's subterfuge game with our sleeping synaptic nerves while chalk-wielding crocodiles sprint past a still-waking humanity to reach the stars first... yes, that interpretation will do... not sure of your current method of creativity, but write it down and label it... for each begets pieces of different style and content...
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dreams set us free to loose ideas upon our minds and build realities. they suspend other realities, absurd until the point, pointless until they play again and again and then we see. This has the feeling of a dream repeated until finally we understand what we have been trying to say ...to ourselves [our deeper sense of self... ] all along...thoughtful depth in this imagery, evocative writing here...PK
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Woah such rich use of language in wonderful imagery and metaphores you take the reader on a true verbal journey of incredible significance and I am suitably impressed this is a truly unique poetic style you have used my dear poet
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beautiful quote... and so true.
this was filled with so much, i can't even digest it all. like a mind wandering as you draw a dream for others to view.
as we carry crosses,our souls aren't burdened, but released and others can see how we made it through our struggles and hopefully that will help them get through theirs... leaving that to your awakening of preference.
probably far off to your intention, but that is the beauty i see in this.
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First I must say I LOVE that quote. So profoundly spoken how we influence other people. Not sure where this fits in with your poem because it pretty much went over my head (like most of what you write) But I loved the part "subconscious of the unconscious" and the last two stanzas. They speak to me. That's all I can say
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