We have a dance in the brothels of Buenos Aires;
tells the story of prostitution, and the man who falls in love
with her.
First, there is desire
Breathing deeply,
feet stamp to lone violas
and the houselights flicker in hesitation.
Haunting hands whip away subconcious thoughts,
the movement choking out words-
how in this moment, all you can do
is embrace the dark heat.
Then, passion.
Walking tall with makeup running loose on the curves
and sweat drips down to toes
scratching nails on hardened skin.
Deny yourself and go slack on the opiate,
for your belief in lies is what causes you to stumble.
and your touch burns down to muscle
making me slip away.
Then, suspicion.
So much beauty in silk and jewels
can be drowned out by madmen whispers;
how stained is your breath with lonesome!
And stain it will the hardwood floor
weak from spent nights in fervored dreaming-
turning to jet black with one blow to the core.
(As we take out frustrations on our feet,
you come to see blisters are noticably less painful
when the heavy shame outweighs it tenfold.)
Jealousy! anger! betrayal!
Rent is due,
and already my temples have been
worn down by working fingers,
dotted with pain and soaking in salt water.
this tightrope is real-
so walk at me a little faster and I will welcome hard hits
with open eyes;
for I can only drown to wake up.
-
Mama always said money was a girl's best friend-
and she laughed when I let my treehouse go to ruins,
wrapped myself in ribbons.
She didn't even wave when I walked out
bag strung on my back - I was off to seek mighty dollars
and prove that birdcalls, well
they're worth less than crescendos.
when love is for the highest bidder,
there can be no trust.
jealousy! yes, jealousy.
it will drive
you
mad.
Author notes
acccck, this sucks.
help?
for the contest Everything and Anything-
the prompt;
'You're like a car wreck on a highway. Everyone knows what happened. Everyones stops and stares. But no one bothers to help out. Because quite frankly, no one cares.'
ap name; and velveteen.
A contest entry
- "To me, New York was Jackson Pollock sipping vodka and dripping paint onto a raw canvas." by TChaplinette.
400 points, ended April 25, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~Anything And Everything~ by Captain Jenny.
1030 points, ended April 1, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anti-mediocrity contest! Not entering insinuates you're boring...That doesn't sound like you! by Hungry Joe.
415 points, ended April 8, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Still needs work, HELP revising.
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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It doesn't suck, obviously. Too minimalist though, dramatic tension doesn't stretch so well over half a ribcage, yakun?
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Oh wow. This is stunning. I love that you used lines from Moulin Rouge ^^ Thanks for entering
~Lae -
this was very well done!
most of the poem fit, except for the buenos aires part, but that was for a different prompt i guess.
overall, very nice
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AHHH I LOVEEE THIS.
the scene plays in my mind while reading this, and it's like everything you added was just so vivid and described the scene and the emotions flawlessly.
you're soo amazing, love. <3
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eeehe your too awesome you know what scene it goes to, yes?
the one when she's in the tower with the duke?
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of course, I've seen the movie like 12 times.
hahahha. -
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tehe, i LOVE that movie.
that scene I love the most, though, especially when christian's walking towards the camera and singing all sexy.
BEJESUS, ITSHOT.
hahha. -
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yessss.
and I lovelovelove the part where they're in the elephant for the private meeting when she thinks christian's the duke, and she's like going crazy on the floor and christian like bursts into song and satine just like gives this one look. it's sooo like heart melting.
haha and when 'come what may' is playing, and it shows all these little snippets of like them together in his hotel room, and I think the one where they're like hugging naked with the sheet around their butts is soooo sweet.
wow i'm such a hopeless romantic. -
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bahahaha, the way you said that was hilarious :'D
"when theyre like hugging naked with the sheets around their butts."
but yeah, i loved that part too, it was incredibly sweet.
i LOVE the scene when theyre like on that little hideout area above the windmill, and he's like
"We should be lovers, and you know it."
gahhh.
oh me too, i'm such a romantic.
all poets are, I think.
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