1.
I suppose that burnt fingers,
blistering,
should have taught me something
about playing with fire
and lighting matches.
in that way we were the same;
never learning from our mistakes.
after a while you stop feeling
and numbness takes over,
mistakes become forgotten
and just like that
we remain together, but apart.
2.
you had one of those compulsive disorders
where you rubbed your hands
red and raw all the time.
they never scarred,
you just kept on getting under the skin.
I used to create fairy-tales about it.
made-up stories about
how you were searching for different colored blood
to prove you weren’t human.
or you swallowed the key to your mind
and were trying to find it again.
I would dream and dream but your face never showed up.
3.
invisible,
to everybody but me.
I made you imperfect
so I could relate more
and we could become best friends.
but I forgot to give you the capacity to love
so I stayed broken-hearted for my entire childhood;
and no one ever knew the impact you had upon me.
Author notes
prompt: invisible scars.
his name was drew. he was a an action figure and i used to wish he was real.
In a list
A contest entry
- Word Prompt by letters to no one.
650 points, ended April 1, 18 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I used to create fairy-tales about it.
made-up stories about
how you were searching for different colored blood
to prove you weren’t human.
or you swallowed the key to your mind
and were trying to find it again.
I would dream and dream but your face never showed up.
lovelovelove ugh this is the kind of writing i aspire to be able to do one day.
you amaze meee. -
they never scarred,
-I really like how this is succient. Great.
I used to create fairy-tales about it.
made-up stories about
how you were searching for different colored blood
to prove you weren’t human.
or you swallowed the key to your mind
and were trying to find it again.
-Oh god, this wholse bit is fucking excellent. Oh, to have a shard of your talent...
--Well i have simply no chance in this competition now. Congrats on the gold you are sure to win.
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this is really beautiful. I love the bit in the author notes to...really gentle and sad.
a suggestion:
in 2, in stead of 'make up fairy tales' maybe...imagine or create.
other than that, really, really good job. best of luck in the contest. :]
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thanks for that suggestion
i always have problems with editing and that part was really annoying me.
but usually when i write something down i rarely change it because it's already stuck in my head this way.
usually i hope someone else will find me a better word to use
so thanks haha
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i love this so much.
its beautiful, in a heartbreaking sort of way.
"I used to make up fairy-tales about it.
made-up stories about
how you were searching for different colored blood
to prove you weren’t human.
or you swallowed the key to your mind
and were trying to find it again. "
god, amazing.
woahh~
-
"I suppose that burnt fingers,
blistering,
should have taught me something
about playing with fire
and lighting matches."
They do say pain makes you feel alive.
"I forgot to give you the capacity to love
so I stayed broken-hearted for my entire childhood;
and no one ever knew the impact you had upon me."
This is so but amazing.
Thanks for your entry and good luck
Shelly
x -
"I used to make up fairy-tales about it.
made-up stories about
how you were searching for different colored blood
to prove you weren’t human.
or you swallowed the key to your mind
and were trying to find it again.
I would dream and dream but your face never showed up."
wow wow wow.
The entire second vignette is killer, but this part was insanely good.
I don't really like the third vignette though. I mean, it's good, but it just seems a little forced and awkward to me in some parts.
However, this is still amazingly good.
♣ Tegan
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This is really good. An action figure? Who would have thought? I can relate to this pretty well. Cool.
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