There were days when he would rest his head in the V of her legs, to try and hear the heartbeat of what was never to come. His eyes would burn through her skin, willing to secure a future that they were too scared to acknowledge and too weak to make come true. They were a fairy tale, severely tattered and torn but shining with brilliance to the thousands of souls who put their wildest desires into them.
She would grab his reins and
ride him into the ground
Tumbling and wrestling in the
makeshift dark provided by
so many stapled blankets.
She would trace symbols in the salt slick of his skin as his mind gave away to nightmares and dreamscape's, praying she was the statue of Aphrodite, strong and sensuous, an addiction that he would never discover. Her bones turned to dust as his lips formed the beat of words he could never admit.
He crab walked his way back to reality
to discover she was not complete
The missing stitches from his hips
hung with an awkward grace, yearning
for their landmark and skin. Sneaking
away he left, a silent mirage
in the crying morning light that
dripped between turbulent skies.
Tangled in despair, her chest cracked open, contained unheard screams taking flight into the weeping sky. His portrait sat in the love seat, mocking and sneering at the imperfections that drove a wedge into something "strong." What can one do when you crack open your being to show what lies writhing within and find out it isn't enough?
Author notes
This just came from the result of a messed up day. No need to comment just needed to vent.
A contest entry
- Prewrites Contest by tears.of.silence.
1000 points, ended April 18, 401 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Be Brutally Honest, Loves
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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well I don't know what to say other than: Awesome. You did a great job on this. At first I wasn't sure what it all meant and then I kept reading and was like I see.. i get it.. I wonder what kind of poem you would have entered had you had a good day. Great write. You've only entered one poem so out of a 100 you've made a 95. You've made the finalist. thank you for entering and best of luck toyou. kahy
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Let me know when you change the font can't see
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I changed it
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oh... it wouldn't let me give you more clappies :[[[[
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Okay, there was a lot more I wanted, actually NEEDED, to giddily gush over.
"She would grab his reins and
ride him into the ground
Tumbling and wrestling in the"
-I loved that imagery. it's so wild and western. I can almost feel the desert heat and bloody sand in my mouth. it's so gritty and rough. sandpaper... well that's a cliche description of it but it's ironically the best.
"He crab walked his way back to reality"
-that's something creepy and eerie but so satisfying. it kind of made me think of the cell and the jagged movements in the movie. it just had that kind of texture to it.
"The missing stitches from his hips
hung with an awkward grace, yearning
for the landmark and skin."
-I think "sneaking" should be kept out of the third line. other than that, I loved these three lines. "stitches", "hips", and "landmark" and really stunning here. they seem to spark like fireworks when it humid and sticky outside. they were beautifully composed here and the use of them is faultless.
"her chest cracked open,"
-I love the word "crack" it so untamed and loud. fantastic placement.
"His portrait sat in the love seat,"
-the imagery there is kind of sad because instead of it actually being him it's only a picture sitting in a chair meant for two. it's really clever.
alright. I think I'm done. I just had to add all of that because I think you should be aware of it :]]]]
love you
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This is defffff my favorite piece by you. from the opening line, I was just... jaw through the floor and hungry eyes swallowing every damn syllable.
"There were days when he would rest his head in the V of her legs, to try and hear the heartbeat of what was never to come."
-I just had to quote that so I could read it again. It's so beautiful. the construction of it is just majestic. I think what mainly drew me in was "the V of her legs" it was really elegant and kind of sexy, but in a soft peaceful way.
I don't even know what to fucking say.
Bookmarking!
I gotta go but I'll come back to leave a better commet!
xxx
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LOL I'm glad you liked this so much dollface because honestly I really thought it was crap. I wasn't even going to put it up
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