I heard a mesh of sound,
Screaming from far away,
Its screaming lasted,
For more than just a day
It stopped when the skies turned black,
And the breathing elements went running back
To the warmest air,
In the coldest hour
The chaotic strands of matter stood tall and proud
False pride and useless stride
Marching towards breathless air
Where I and they stand tall,
Against a soul of ground
Wearing a soldier’s heart, and
Heavy boots, We stood
Anchored like roots
Author notes
My kennings:
Mesh of sound- Voice
breathing elements - Humans
coldest hour- The night
chaotic strands of matter - Enemy in war
breathless air - Dust, smoke, smog
soldier’s heart- Pride
I hope I did this right!
A contest entry
- Roots by Pamela A Lamppa.
1750 points, ended March 23, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Nice work with kennings. Barely noticeable and as a result, a very fluid poem. You have a knack for this.
I enjoyed this very much.
Breathless air - dust smoke fog - loved that.
Thank you for a wonderful entry. Best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela
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Very solid
One can easily hear the agony and sadness in this piece
mixed with powerful objectiveness and solution-seeking feelings.
You use your devices well.
A rally nice write, one that project honesty and aptitude
Keep 'em coming *thumbs up*
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EyeRaven,
Its great to hear from you again after all this time, Thank you.
Miss you loads!! Cant wait to see you soon.
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I liked the way you meshed your kennings, so weaved into your piece, that it flowed wonderfully. I could hardly tell that the kennings were used to create it. You truly made them your own, and penned a lively piece filled with so much emotion.
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Hetha, Thank you for your lovely comments.
Brings my spirits up since I was hesitant with the use of the "kennings".
Princess,
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