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Don’t Look at Me

Don’t look at me, and expect to find,
Compassion, nurturing and words most kind.
They were stolen by thieves, deep in the night,
Though young and strong, I wasn’t up to the fight.

Don’t look at me, and think I am true,
My appearance deceives, and my heart has grown cruel.
It wasn’t my wish, to harden my heart,
But deceit and dishonesty, have torn it apart.

Don’t look at me, and expect that you’ll see,
Strength, loyalty, and a soul that is free.
Though I’ve tried to stay free, loyal and strong,
I found deceit led to riches, and cared not about wrongs.

Don’t look at me, and hope to discover,
A diamond agleaming, hid beneath a dark cover.
You may think sun and water, are all a plant needs,
But your careful planting, will soon all go to seed.

Don’t look at me, and expect to find hope,
For each day I slip closer, to the end of my rope.
Though my hands hold tight, and my grip is quite strong,
It takes more than strength to right every wrong.

Don’t look at me, and expect honor to find,
It’s been tainted, poisoned and erased from my mind.
You may not believe me, and may well mount a search,
To find it rusted and buried, down deep in the earth.

Don’t look at me, with anger and wrath,
And vow that you’d never take the same path.
The roads that we tread are not always straight,
And each of us must finally, face our grim fate.

Don’t look at me please, my dreams are now sand,
Seems I’ve succumbed to all that is evil in man.
Though I’d like to begin again, simple and free,
Seems as the twig is bent, so grows the tree.



Author notes

prompt # 4. Miserable at best.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Miss Macabre
    July 16
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    You mentioned wrath, but I'm not sure what sin dominates this poem.


  • Poetic Drug
    June 18

    Edit | Reply
    This is great,I feel as if you read my soul when you wrote ths and just didn't know it. Wow, Thank you for entering.

  • janeofdreams silver member
    June 17

    Edit | Reply

    A "dark night of the soul" piece

    The darkness of this poem prevents me from looking at you except through a tainted lens. Stained and imperfect, you struggle here with the very essence of your being and your being worthwhile. It is a writing of soul torment, expertly crafted to drive us away, yet it draws us in.


  • DramaQueen469 gold member
    June 12

    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautiful write, and oh boy, can I relate... very well written
    Thankyou for entering this piece in my contest, and I wish you the best of luck!

    ♥ Maria ♥


  • Ami
    May 10

    Edit | Reply

    Wow I really liked this!

    Flowed perfect and pretty much sent a message not to judge some one by how they look I really like this and I didn't notice any mistakes my favorite part was..
    "Don’t look at me, with anger and wrath,
    And vow that you’d never take the same path.
    The roads that we tread are not always straight,
    And each of us must finally, face our grim fate."
    I really liked the message in this! Thanks so much for entering my contest, Good luck! -♥Amanda♥


  • Umi Juvariel
    March 25

    Edit | Reply
    This was very good, so say the least. There was passion, hatred, anger and fear here, all well laced into this intricate piece. The repetition of the title in the beginning of each stanza brought force and memorization, as if you were trying to force the reader to feel your words. Excellent write and good luck in my contest!


  • jinglingjoy
    March 22

    Edit | Reply

    good

    thereluctantpoet1
    you have quite a talent. To smooth out the cadence, some lines could be trimed. as an example: the next to the last line, change to be begin again to - to begin again. The line that begins You may think sun... use only one all?

    i hope this is helpful for you. this is a very strong poem! keep writing!

    jingle


  • sunflowers21573
    March 21

    Edit | Reply
    WOW! This is GREAT! I love lines 19,20 and 25,26 they are very powerful. You are one talented poet! I know u say u are revising this poem, but gee, I think it is perfect the way it is right now! U need to enter this in a contest for sure!!!! What an awesome job.


  • Oh.My.Juliet
    March 20
    Edit | Reply
    This is really awesome, I love the truthfulness in it. It's amazing writing. Keep it up!


  • rufina caraid gold member
    March 20

    Edit | Reply
    You don't take any prisoners with this one, it really packs a punch! No flowery verse just honest, brutal truth. You say it's personal ok but it seems to me you understand yourself very well and to me that's an achievement I have yet to savour.
    Brilliant writing.   Von

1 - 12 of 12