I sit alone, late into the night,
Pondering again, the mere mortals plight,
I know nothing of the fate of man,
I believe not in a grand, celestial plan.
The stars above, are a delight to behold,
But they remain far away, distant and cold.
The mystics hold, our lives the stars favor,
Words that only a fool could savor.
To look for hope, from heaven on high,
Makes me breathe a most weary sigh.
For to look to the clouds for guidance and riches,
Is false hope married to man’s foolish wishes.
To believe our fate rests in another’s hands,
Likens to building a home on dry, shifting sands.
Though tall and true it may stand at first,
You’d do best to prepare yourself for the worst.
As a young man, I struggled with notions of gods,
Squandering time, against impossible odds.
My time was not ill spent, now it seems,
For I bade farewell to childish dreams.
Many look to the heavens, and entreat to great length,
And are woe to consider their own inner strength.
But look into your soul, and be not surprised,
To find the place where true courage resides.
Live your life boldly, and look not to fate,
For the hours and minutes are growing quite late.
Go bravely and strongly, hold true to what’s right,
Be not afraid to fight the good fight.
To live your life with honor and pride,
Is to live a life absent of deception and lies.
Though the scorn of others you may have to endure,
Take comfort in living the life of the pure.
And if we’re called on one day, for our sins to atone,
Walk bravely and tall, for you’ve committed no wrong.
When it appears certain the Inquisitor’s questions will start,
Be not afraid, you’ve stayed true to your heart.
A contest entry
- round one; your best prewrite. by August Starlight.
765 points, ended March 21, 93 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Religion by SilverWolf.
460 points, ended April 28, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ROUNDS!!! Enter your BEST prewrite! by pinksnowboots.
700 points, ended May 12, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - To Be Put On My Favorites List by Ted E Bare.
400 points, ended October 15, 249 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - Give Me Your Best Prewrite! by FluorescentFixation.
1200 points, ended August 4, 68 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ...Help me by Mokashi Senyu.
400 points, ended August 10, 107 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your best by condor.
2600 points, ended August 20, 192 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - round one - comfort zone by Shadow Anonymised.
400 points, ended September 24, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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I really like this poem, not only because I agree with what you are saying almost verbatim, but you expressed it so clearly and gracefully that you've displayed your ability as a poet quite well. The rhyme and flow don't hinder the message you have here one bit. Excellent.
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this is good. i like the topic that youve chosen, but something seems missing. i would say what, i usually do, but i just can't put my finger on it.
i do like it. -
I was that way
All my life I thought that way.I hope you don't have to have an anuerysm to get your attention.It was as though I was at a door or maybe a gate,and they said Jim you must wait.You've got things that you must do before your life is completly trough.It was not like just one God but more like a jury.Read he restoreth my soul in my poems and see what you think.I think I had like an epiphany or something like that.
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Hi there--
I enjoyed your message in this poem. You clearly explained your beliefs which is sometimes what poems of this sort lack (as in clear meaning). If I could recommend anything, I'd recommend that you read over the poem and remove some comma's. There are some places in there where they're not appropriate. But otherwise I really enjoyed this. From one atheist to another, good luck in the contest!
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I wonder if you know ...
that scientists have discovered a gene that causes people to believe in a higher power of some kind? I've always thought that was quite an intriguing thing, since it should guarantee that everyone does believe that way. However, I run across people all the time who claim to be atheists, so I wonder just what that says about the "gene" in question.
I believe that everyone has a right to believe whatever they want to believe, as long as it doesn't hurt anybody else (which of course means Islam is out of the question, but most other religions are fine by me, including atheism and agnosticism. I think you've done quite a good job of elucidating your point, and the rhyming isn't bad. There are definitely some meter problems, but nothing major, and really, as long as you can read the poem out loud without stumbling over the words, what does that matter?
All in alll, I'd say you've done a good job with this. Keep on keeping on.
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You see, this gene they speak of is absent in some people. As in for most atheists, it's not active in our minds quite like believers.
I don't mean to attack your comment, but I have Islamic friends and they're less violent and pushy about their religion than most Christians I know. There are fanatic Christians (ahem, crusades) and fanatic Muslims. -
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Since most Moslems ...
believe in murdering Jews and homosexuals, I can't believe your comment. Sorry. -
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I don't understand. Are you say my Islamic friends are bad? Or something else?
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I'm saying that your Islamic friends ...
are in an extremely tiny minority who may have become Westernized enough to develop some common sense.
The vast majority of Moslems are constantly scheming to eradicate Israel from the map. I've had plenty of experience with Moslems. None of it was a good experience with the exception of one woman I met here, who is quite level-headed.
You are correct about right-wing Christians, who are mostly very bigoted as well, but they seldom run around murdering people. When Moslems outnumber Jews 100 million to one, and are constantly striving to murder them, they don't leave me with a very good attitude about them. Also, I'm sick and tired of them murdering homosexuals, as well as anybody else who doesn't agree with them. You have obviously led a very closeted existence if you've missed what's happening out there in the world.
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Ah yes. I do agree with most of what you're saying here. It is nearly a holocaust in Israel and I understand that. I misunderstood what you meant at first.
It's really a sad world we live in. But it's always been this way with many different groups of people who should take a fair share of the blame. Today, it's the Judeo-Islam conflict in the Middle East, but tomorrow it'll be something else entirely. I suppose what I mean is that it's not so much a particular religion that is to blame, but the people who take it to the extreme (which there are plenty of). Although I'm not one for religion in general so I suppose I shouldn't talk.
And you'd be right to assume I'm biased, since I do indeed live in America and have had many bad experiances with Christians. But if you're where the real conflict lies, then I'll definitely take your word for it.
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I can definitely see what you are saying and you say it very well. However, I am biased because of my own personal religious views. I think that believing in something can add to the inner strength you already have. But, bias aside, this is very well-written.
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Accidental Poet? I'd call that a lucky accident for your readers.
I like this poem. It's very inspirational and the meter's pretty good. It's difficult to write metered poetry without losing your original thought to the demands of the structure but I think you pulled it off pretty well.
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i like the word inquisitor it al ways makes me think of my childhood for some odd reason.
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I really like the rhyme and flow of this poem.
Thank you for entering and good luck. -
your poetry is moving; I wish you well in your job search and in your writing endeavors, too.
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very nice
The concept of "God" is not for everyone, but I see you have already got your opinion on that. I believe in God, but don't think he can answer all prayers. Most beg for small trivial things and other things that are best gotten by ones self. "Stay true to yourself and get off the couch and earn what you want", is my look on life. Much like your words here say to me. Great flow and rhyme. I enjoyed the read and agree with your point! Keep em coming!
Shakes-spear
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Wonderful
Very well done. So creative and expressive. Thank you for sharing
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I am a poet who loves to rhyme as well, but you do it much more eloquently than I. I agree with Rufina, this poem offers a hope that some may fail to notice. I look forward to reading your future poems!
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You have blown me away with your poetry tonight (my time). I found you by accident and what a fortunate one it was.
You are a powerful poet, there is no doubt of that and the reason you began to write, though depressing and soul destroying it has opened a new window for you to see how your life could be. Truly amazing work. this poem is different from your others I've read - it has a feel of hope about it, the truth remains as in your other work, but it has a softer approach. I've added you to my favourites to make sure I don't miss any work you post.
A huge Welcome to Allpoetry - Von - Brisbane Australia
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excellent
I've thought these thoughts myself, great to see someone pen them so well in rhyme.
I'm not only new to the site but to poetry as well so by all means take my advice with a dose of salt lol. I do wonder about the second line in the last stanza though. Have you considered "for you've cast no stone"? Another option could be "no cause for regret shown"
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Thanks for your review and
I really like the line 'for you've cast no stone'...do you mind if I use it? -
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not at all
Go for it, thats why i suggested it. Its your poem but i like it and while i have no business trying to change it i offered the alternative line for you to use if you wanted to make it better. Better... in my opinion that is.
Totally up to you, even if you like my advice, whether you use it or not. I must admit though that i do find it flattering if you like my suggestion enough to incorporate it into your poem
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