Although it has been nearly two years,
it feels as though you are not gone.
In my head I remissness over what happened,
but in my heart you are still here forever.
I miss you more as each day passes,
yet I miss you not at all.
Possibly it is that I have not come to terms with you death,
but I just can't accept of believe you're gone.
Who knows what it'll take,
but one of these days I am bound to break.
Until then, mom, I'll see you after school.
this is for someone special so I'd appreciate some constructive criticism
Comments
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OK, so In one spot you had your spelled you. This is a good poem, its so sad. I loved it. Well written and good job!
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"Possibly it is that I have not come to terms with you death," You should be your.
"but I just can't accept of believe you're gone." I believe you were trying for "But i just can't accept OR believe you're gone"
But other then those minor errors this was a wonderful poem. I am sorry for your loose. Thank you for sharing this with us. -
This is very touching.
I enjoyed how you ended the poem, the last line was powerful in terms of going with the message of the poem.
I can't imagine what it must be like, but this poem expresses a lot of emotion to help the reader identify with that pain.
There is a typo besides the one pointed out by Abariel Raven, on the third line you say "remissness." Now, unless you really do mean being negligent, and I've missed something there, maybe you mean "reminisce" instead?
Thanks for sharing this.
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Nicely written poem but you did have one typo in this line
"Possibly it is that I have not come to terms with you death," It should be YOUR death not you death
Other then this I really like it. It shows a great deal of depth and caring. Thank you for sharing
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