she only waited
never far from the unlit room
he cowered within
but brave soul he feared
his crude cut walls
untouched he could imagine
he was only lost in the night
overhead a blanket of clouds
so thick
no light fell through
that in his cold and dread
he need only wait
through uneasy sleep
a distant dawn
but it never came
deep down he knew
it was night eternal
closed in the coal gray close
of cinder block doubts
scrape to the skin
when he realized
there was nothing to lose
but hopes long dead
he stood up arms
waving to feel
four thud walls and four
creased corners yes
but to his surprise a frame
hidden all this time in the gloom
an unlocked door
In a list
Thoughts, Feelings, Interpretations, Experience:
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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How refreshing to find the way out. We're often so blinded we don't even bother to look! After you find the way out, the trick is not going back in where you just came from. Great job, something I can relate to on many levels.
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Yes, I agree. Or at least develop the mental, emotional, and spiritual tools to be able to handle going back if there is ever a need. Life is forward, always forward.
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dont change a thing!!!
this comes from a personal experience. Yours and yours alone. just when you thought there was no way out ..... boom the solution was there all the time. leave it just as it is.
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When it comes to psycho-spiritual prisons, yes the way out is almost always there all along. Just a matter of feeling around some.
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Wow, the imagery in this poem is terrific! I love poems that I can visualize what's going on and you definitely did that here! Great job!
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Glad you enjoyed, Sammy.
Thanks for the kind words!
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You are really a talented writer. I like how this piece pulls me in. At first, the piece is just right. After re-reading it gives me the impact that i wanted more. Either way, you have accomplished another well-written free verse poem.
I will surely learn a lot from you Sir.You are one of the poets I'd like to meet from this site.
A pleasure to read your work.
Thanks for sharing.
HENSLEY
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If you're ever in Ukiah, California, then let's by all means meet.
Glad you enjoyed this effort.
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Wow... how neat to find the way out.
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Now if he can just stop going back in again...
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Brilliantly Done:
Very good. I like the flow of the poem. I love how reading this makes me smile. It has a nice unique style to it. Very well done.
--Evemauy.
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Glad you enjoyed. Thanks for reading.
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this sounds personal to you, but i'm sure it is also true to many of us.
freedom--as well as love, success, or anything we desire, and sometimes even just a whisper longing to be released--is often not achieved not because they are far and impossible but because we build our comfort zone with walls of fears. not realizing that often, if not always, our fears are just illusion. that the walls are actually open frames, we are free to cross anytime, if we only take the courage to take even just one step.
this is the wisdom that this piece shares. Indeed, whatever hardship a person has in life, he must remember that there is no door locked for someone who's willing to get out of it.
another beautiful and wise child is born, Erin.
joy
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I'm still trying to live this poem, or to open the door. Why do I feel so dead within as a poet? What has happened? Is it just the pull on my time? Is it my craving for free zone-out time? Is it some kind of deep-set self doubt, or fear of accomplishment that leads me over and over into self-defeatist thoughts and attitudes? I wish I knew. I wish I knew how to overcome my worst enemy--the one living within my own skull.
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Hi Erin
Like this! Like this! Like this!
Had to read this twice. Second time predicated on
the final line, which gave me a new pair of glasses to see with.
I think this is right up there with INHUMATION for intensity etc.
Who hasn't scraped their skin raw on those cinder blocks?
****
John
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You know what, John? I just realized that I'd very much like to meet you sometime. Maybe after my fiancee comes in May and we're married. I thinks she'd like to meet you too.
You're just over a couple off small hills from me, so it shouldn't be that hard to work out a visit sometime.
I'm glad you liked this wee effort, kind sir. Thank you. -
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she's a she, Erin.
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i'm catching her pronoun habits
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