stanza 1
did you ever think
when you got older
you would fly?
like the bread would
spread itself
and the bank would
self supply?
stanza 2
the kings and queens
have just declared
our dreams
were simply lies,
we're only
humming drones--
but mental gloom
goes by.
bridge
still ahead to come
are roadblocks to endure
but i'm not there yet,
i'm still here
in your arms
and that's all i need
to mature
chorus
i haven't opened
my wings yet
but someday soon i'll try
and when i do
i know that you
will be waiting
by my side
and we will fly
stanza 3
i'd rather live in dreams
wolves blowing
stilled voices to stars,
pure rain falling
on desert dunes
and music from afar
bridge
i know they're dreams
but i'm still here
together we will
make it through
the gloom of kings,
the muck of time
to lands where
swallows sing
chorus
i haven't opened
my wings yet
but someday soon i'll try
and when i do
i know that you
will be waiting
by my side
and we will fly
we will fly
Author notes
AP X FACTOR: part 1/3
also, for him 
prompt:
"life lifts me to seek stars
and so i am yours.”
-Laura Lamarca
The tune I made up to go along with it is sort of like "Dear Prudence" by the Beatles. 
help is really appreciated on this one....
A contest entry
- AP X Factor: Round Nine [Top 4] - Finale Part 1/3 by sideways hourglass.
1750 points, ended April 1, 2 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This is beautiful. This is something I can relate to. And I have to give you props for taking the "We can fly" concept and making it work. There wasn't any part where I was like "Wow, this is really cheesy." - There were other original ideas surrounding it, and I believe that is what pulled this all together, and it worked. This was sincere and written straight from your heart and it shows.
"i'd rather live in dreams
wolves blowing
stilled voices to stars,
pure rain falling
on desert dunes
and music from afar
i know they're dreams
but i'm still here
together we will
make it through
the gloom of kings,
the muck of time
to lands where
swallows sing"
-it's so pure with emotion, i love it.
-----
As for critiques and opinions...
At first I felt it was choppy, but as it went on I started to get the feel of it (for the most part) and in the end I was hoping it would've flowed better -- but maybe it's just the way I was reading it...because after several reads, I did get the gist of it - just took some time and getting used to. The wings/fly concept was cheesy - but as a whole, the poem worked out. Regardless though, I think you could've come up with better as far as creativity is concerned.
Emotionally, I thought this was one of your strongest yet.
And I love the title...it sums up the concept perfectly. Sometimes life surprises us and shows us that things we thought could never happen are happening right in front of us at the very moment. And even then, you still wonder if it's a dream and you're going to wake up.
No matter how this does compared to the other entries, I love this.
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i loved it :') it brought a tear to my eye.
I love you baby. With all my heart i really do. -
I love this! Lyrics by you The flow is almost perfect and I really wish my lyrics could sound as naturally. Love the last bit - it reminds me of this girl's song I really liked...
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And you shall be famous for this, yes.
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I couldn't figure where my tune came from
I'll have plunk it out
sounded operatic
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a pleasant read
my favorite part are the lines 'together we will make it through...the gloom of kings...the muck of time!! good luck in the contest!
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